Be forewarned before you invite me to your home that I am a horrible houseguest now that I have children. If you enjoy my company and the company of my family and are willing to put up with us, by all means invite us over. But please understand that I will not live up to the expectations of Miss Manners. I’m not trying to be rude or inconsiderate…..it’s just that my children’s safety and well being come first.
That means:
- I will ask you what’s for dinner. If it is something that my children will not eat or cannot eat, then I need time to arrange and prepare a seperate meal for them.
- I will ask you what time dinner is at. We usually eat at 6:00pm and put the kids to bed around 8:00pm. If you don’t eat until 8:30pm, I need to at least know this so that I can feed the kids earlier and put them to bed or give them a late nap and a snack so that they can wait for and stay up for a late dinner.
- I might not be able to always help prepare meals and/or clean up from meals. This could be because it is the “witching hour” and my kids are crabby. It could be because your house is not childproof and I need to ensure that my children don’t get hurt and your belongings don’t get destroyed. It could simply be because my children don’t know you and aren’t comfortable at your home and are therefore hanging off of me.
- I will close doors or move your belongings around. If you are close by, I will ask first, but if you’re not I’ll just go ahead and do it. I don’t want your things getting broken, I don’t want my children exploring where they shouldn’t be exploring, and I don’t want my children digging in your cat litter. It is usually easier to put something out of reach than to say “no” 10,000 times over the course of an hour.
- I might be forgetful and leave things lying around that I shouldn’t. I apologize if I forget my son’s underwear in the bathroom, neglect to pick up my daughter’s books before we go out, or put the diaper in the wrong garbage bin. Sometimes when chasing after two kids, other things slip my mind.
If you want me to be a better houseguest, ask me what the kids like/dislike, ask what time might be suitable for meals, ask what sleeping arrangements would suit us, tell me what I can bring to help with meals (rather than helping on the spot), and childproof your home.
If that is too much to ask, I understand. It doesn’t mean that we don’t like you. It just means that it might be difficult to visit and be a good guest. Despite being a horrible houseguest, I think I’m still a good hostess. So if we are too much to deal with at your house, we hope you’ll at least still come to visit us where the house is childproofed, the kids feel comfortable, and I can prepare the meals in advance so that we have time to hang out and chat while the kids play.
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I need to send this to people before I stay- it’s perfect!
Oh, goodness, thank you for this. Before having my son, my husband and I would frequently visit Orlando and stay with his cousin and her husband who live there. She is a super neat freak (at least she is the type who understands she has a problem) and I’d always feel like I was walking on eggshells there to not get anything dirty. She is so sweet and fun to hang out with, but it’s difficult for a natural slob like me to make sure I pick up every grain of rice I might drop on the floor or couch when eating. Since having a baby I really don’t like to stay with her. Her feelings get hurt when we stay in a hotel, but I cannot jump up right after dinner (during which my son was in my lap for the entire meal, making a mess, crawling all over me, etc) and start cleaning! I need a while to decompress, to sit on the couch without a body on me. Mealtime is work for me, I don’t just get to sit and enjoy my food. It’s so hard to explain, particularly to the childless, but this is very polite, so maybe I will say some of these things next time I see her.