Comments on: 10 Things All New Parents Should Know

By: Mel

Mel — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:19:58 +0000

I just say this and wanted to say thank you. The person who wrote this article along with so many others had made me feel like the worst mother EVER cause I couldn’t breastfeed. I tried with my oldest and everything stopped at 6 weeks, nothing would make the lactation come back. And with my second the milk barley came in to be enough to feed him. So when I read this stuff saying ALL women can do it makes me feel horrible.

By: Sonya

Sonya — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 19:00:49 +0000

Excellent points here! Thanks for writing this. I fully agree and will be passing this on

By: Samantha Gluck

Samantha Gluck — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 00:10:08 +0000

Really great piece! Thanks for advocating exclusive breastfeeding!

By: Blair

Blair — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 15:39:10 +0000

Yesterday I caught a ride from a woman I barely know from my church. She has a son who is roughly the same age as my second daughter (she’s 11m so he’s probably 9-10 months) and the subject of naptime came up. She mentioned her child didn’t have a nap schedule. This is something I’ve been struggling with myself–I’m not a scheduler, anyway, but it’s especially hard to work my baby’s naps in around my preschooler’s school schedule–and I thought I had found some common ground. We continued talking and she mentioned that her pediatrician had said that naps weren’t a big deal and not to worry if her son didn’t seem to take many, or enough naps. She said she felt relieved to have his approval. I commented that I could see why she would feel that way, and she went on to say that her pediatrician has dictated most of their parenting decisions, because who is she to say what’s right and wrong, and he’s the doctor, right? For example, he was a big believer in Ferber (gulp) and he was the one who insisted that they didn’t need to get up several times a night at 4 months old, and it turned out to be the best thing they ever did! She said, “My best friend doesn’t listen to a thing her doctor says. She thinks she knows it all, anyway.”

I said, “Ha ha! Actually, I’m kind of like that. Uhhh, well, I like to read books and get a lot of different ideas and just figure out what makes the most sense for our family.”

She said, “But I know I could read a bunch of different books and they would all say something different and that would just stress me out. Easier just to go to one source–my doctor. And he hasn’t led me wrong yet!” Sigh.

I’m not sure why I’m telling you all of this, but the whole conversation really stood out in my mind, particularly because I know this woman is VERY INTELLIGENT and a very capable critical thinker in other areas of her life. She is a successful attorney. I know she loves her son and she has expressed many times that she simply wants to do what’s best, and what’s healthiest for him. How are we as a society so divorced from our instincts that we are afraid to think critically about how we raise our children? Is it fear, or is it a lack of time and energy–an attempt to outsource parenting decisions? I don’t know. But I am sad for that baby. I am sad for the mama, although she may go to the grave certain she did the right thing for her child.

By: anon

anon — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 11:59:12 +0000

I think your points are good ones, and ones I follow 99% of the time except I DO believe it is unsafe to sleep with babies. My Mom works for 9-11 call center and I couldn’t even tell you how many babies have died in the last 2 years from parents suffocating them in their sleep. Makes me sick. And no, these weren’t crack head drunk parents. I think its a personal choice. I personally believe the parent’s bed should be their sanctuary with each other as well. There has to be boundaries. I can lay with my child in her bed (now 3 yrs old) for as long as she needs, but she’s not laying in mine.
Also, the crying baby thing. I believe that of course you must respond to a baby’s cries to make sure their needs are met (physically and emotionally), but once you have responded a gazillion times and every time you go back there they smile and laugh, its time to say “no more.” If anyone on here thinks that kids can’t manipulate, then they are fools. My kids know I have always been there for them, but they also know they when its bedtime, its bedtime. Period. And I know the difference between a “tired, whiny, I don’t wanna sleep” cry and a “something is wrong, I am scared/hurt/lonely” cry. My kids never cried longer than 5 minutes and I would only wait it out if the cries were not hysterical. There is a balance. Some of the balance is made my common sense.
Yes, kids are important and we must raise them to feel safe and secure, well-adjusted individuals. But they are also individuals that will not be cradled and caudled when they are not with us, so they must learn some sort of self-assurance.
Just my opinion, and it works for my family. There is a reason that so many kids act so dang entitled all the time, and have no sense of consequence or fear. They get whatever they want and parents act afraid of THEM. Because we are so frightened of doing something wrong, screwing up our kids, b/c of all the articles and advice out there and not wanting to raise a serial killer – that we baby step around our own children and let them call the shots. Not gonna happen in this house. I am the Boss. I treat my children like people, individuals, who need to learn the rules and obey them or they will not get fun treats and toys. Life is the same way. Or should be.

By: Crunchy Domestic Goddess » Spanking and Criminal Behavior

Crunchy Domestic Goddess » Spanking and Criminal Behavior — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:41:32 +0000

[...] another blurb I think that’s very relevant from PhD in Parenting’s post 10 Things All New Parents Should Know: New parents worry that they need to “discipline” their child. But often when they say [...]

By: Brittany

Brittany — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:29:27 +0000

I agree with Jennifer about the Low-saturated fats, and I think the real emphasis should be on avoiding artificial transfats and hydrogenated oils.

By: Melly K

Melly K — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 08:23:54 +0000

I have 6 children under the age of 9, several of which are *very* strong-willed. I have never left a child crying for hours at night, and by responding to my children’s cries efficiently and quickly, they soon became secure enough to not cry at all. No, I do not attend to their every whim, but I did attend to their every NEED—-including a need for loving arms and the respect that they might know when they needed me, as opposed to what a doctor might medically ordain.
As a side note, SIDS means a child dies for no reason. Death by co-sleeping is from not doing it correctly, and the cause is known. It is not the same at all. Co-sleeping actually encourages a child to regulate both their temperature and their breathing at a time when they are still learning to do all of that.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 05:38:40 +0000

This is a great article, with one exception. Children do NOT need a diet low in saturated fats; that’s the government’s “health” line (influenced by lobbyists with lots of money) and it is scientifically incorrect. Children need a diet with lots of good, healthy (grass-fed, not grain-fed) animal fats in order to grow their bodies and their brains correctly. Low-saturated-fats diets actually increase the obesity problem.

By: Lea

Lea — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 03:24:38 +0000

#12 There is no such thing as a “good” parenting book. Every book you read will have some good points and a lot of bad. Write your own book. There is no other child like yours and no other parent like you.