In a lot of the examples it seems as though one parent is missing. My husband and I are partners in creating a home for our family and in raising our children. Sure the mom is often going to be the primary caregiver, especially when breastfeeding but there are a number of ways Dad can help out besides making dinner and tidying up a bit.

For us my husband slept in the guest room during work nights and helped out on the weekends. We each took a morning on the weekend to sleep in. When he came home from work, he would take Ellen for a bit so I could sleep. I fit in the sleep during her naps and wore her to get the minimum of housework required to live comfortably completed.

We found that when she started on solids at 6months, the frequent overnight feedings lessened. By a year, even less. Ellen slept with us and we were so thankful as twice I woke up to her so hot and still asleep, with a severe fever. We didn’t completely wake up when she stirred. Although we were not well rested, we were not desperately sleep deprived.

As for her sleep routine, she is a little over 2 and sleeps in her own room, through the night. She often asks to go to sleep, sometimes we have to lie with her, sometimes she just rolls over and says, ‘good-night’. It wasn’t hard to get her into her own room, we started with having story time there, then naps and finally introducing it at bedtime. In the beginning she wouldn’t always want to sleep in her own room but we didn’t worry about it and let her sleep where she is more comfortable.

Our philosophy was that Steve & I had to adjust to living together, so we have to do the same with our children. Ellen does not dictate life in our home, she is a child that needs guidance, encouragement and support as she discovers the world around her, there are rules that are non-negotiable and others that are flexible, I would prefer for her to sleep in her own room through the night, but she will always be welcome to wake us up and we will be there for her. As for running out on the street, that is not negotiable, she is simply not allowed.

Sometimes I think as parents we over think and come to radical solutions without really looking at the issue. CIO to me is really radical, Ellen’s crying was physically painful for me, I couldn’t imagine retaining my own sanity listening to her cry so much, it would feel like a failure to provide a safe and nurturing environment for her.

In an earlier post, I pointed out that some of the research relied upon by opponents of the cry-it-out…

There are lots of parenting choices that others do (even in my family) that are different to mine, and I don’t say anything to keep the peace, but CIO is definitely NOT something I keep quiet about.

My heart breaks at thinking that someone would leave their child crying and purposely ignore it.

I love the fact that my husband believes in this as much as I do.

Also glad to have found the #4 comment website.

My son got his own bed when he was 1 year old, but we didn’t get him a crib. We just got him a comfortable double bed with a bedrail on it. That way we could go to him at night if he needed us. He is 4 now and still does need us sometimes at night and one of us can go and sleep with him as needed. He isn’t ever awake for more than 30 seconds though, so no one is really losing any sleep. He just wants someone next to him (which I can understand, I do too!). My daughter just turned 2 years old and is still in our bed. She almost always sleeps through the night as long as someone is next to her. We don’t have another room to put her in right now (we are renovating), so she’ll be with us until we can make space (perhaps bunk beds for the kids in one room once my son is old enough to sleep on the top bunk).