Comments on: Flaunt Your Crunch!

By: Nicki

Nicki — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 18:29:40 +0000

Like many women, I fall inbetween the extreme styles of parenting. On one hand, I co-sleep exclusively with my now 14 month old daughter and believe in gentle discipline and am also looking into the option of homeschooling; on the other hand I also am a stickler for keeping my childrens vaccines current and using disposable diapers. I receive annoying, unsolicited advice from BOTH sides, the crunchy moms tell me to quit vaccinating, and the mainstream moms tell me to use potty bootcamp to train my 2 year old even though he has no interest igoing potty right now! It can get VERY frustrating for anyone to receive these unwanted “TIPS”!
I think your article is useful simply because you stress confidence in personal parenting choices, no matter what side of the fence you’re on! Thanks!

By: IComLeavWe: Day 6 | PhD in Parenting

IComLeavWe: Day 6 | PhD in Parenting — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 04:35:42 +0000

[...] most circles, I am staunchly proud of my parenting approach and practices and I have been known to flaunt my crunch. But there are other spaces where I would rather just be considered normal, for my sake and for my [...]

By: Friendship and Parenting Styles | PhD in Parenting

Friendship and Parenting Styles | PhD in Parenting — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 01:54:59 +0000

[...] around first (talking about what has worked for us and why without attacking what they are doing or lightly flaunting the advantages of my choices), but if it becomes obvious that they have a completely different view of a parent’s [...]

By: phdinparenting

phdinparenting — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:13:15 +0000

@Jonniker: Lucky you on your epidural experience! I had one with my first birth. My son was born at 7:30am, I couldn’t walk until well into the afternoon. I wanted a shower SO bad.

By: phdinparenting

phdinparenting — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:09:49 +0000

@Toni

Thank you for your comment.

I’ll reiterate again. I am not upset when moms don’t exclusively breastfeed. But if they make condescending remarks about me breastfeeding, I will flaunt the advantages of it.

With regards to the health benefits of breastfeeding, they have been proven. No, they don’t guarantee a healthy child. But on average, breastfed children have more health advantages that formula fed children. But again, it is each mom’s choice to make and I won’t insult anyone for making the choice that is right for them, as long as they don’t insult my choices.

By: phdinparenting

phdinparenting — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:09:26 +0000

@Trisha

The point of this article is not to judge anyone that has made different choices than I have. The point is when I am faced with someone that is insulting the choices I have made or giving unsolicited advice that goes against my beliefs, I don’t need to cower in shame. Instead, I can demonstrate that (a) I am confident in my choices and (b) there are benefits to those choices. The point of that would be to get them to shut up and stop insulting me.

I recognize that I don’t owe anyone an explanation and most people seem to respect that. But others feel the need to continually undermine, insult and look down on people that have made “crunchier” choices. It is for those people that I would reserve the flaunting. For all others, I just go about my life as I always would – with quiet confidence.

By: jonniker

jonniker — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:05:05 +0000

For what it’s worth, I could walk within the hour of my epidural. I only say that for the lurkers who might misinterpret the statement. I don’t feel judged — I’m fine with my birth experience and, in fact, loved it — but I don’t want anyone to read that and assume that it’s always that way.

Secondly, co-sleeping usually works for me, but when I wake myself up SNORING approximately FIVE HUNDRED TIMES in one night because of a stuffy nose (why yes, that was last night, thank you), while my little girl sleeps like a … well, a BABY with her little arms over her head, it can be amusingly frustrating. I mean, I was JEALOUS. OF MY SLEEPING DAUGHTER. Bah.

By: phdinparenting

phdinparenting — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 00:46:26 +0000

@renee: I agree completely. In this case, I wrote this post for a friend who was asking for my advice. She was asking for my advice on how should could survive another outing with other families from her husband's work because she constantly felt out of place and like people were looking down on her crunchy parenting choices. So I was giving her some advice on how to be more confident about her choices and not let other people make her feel bad. No one is a perfect parent. But I think if people were more confident about their parenting and a little less sensitive (I know, easier said than done), then it would be easier for everyone to get along.

By: renee

renee — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:20:20 +0000

I think it’s important to realize that there are all kinds of moms out there, and some of us are unable to breastfeed, or have babies that won’t tolerate being in a sling, or co-sleeping. And some of us who have to do some things the “mainstream” way ARE a little sensitive about it. No matter what your parenting style is, it’s usually a good idea to keep your good advice to yourself until asked!

By: A time to wean? Your opinion, others opinions and how to deal | PhD in Parenting

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 02:39:55 +0000

[...] Be confident: If you nurse your toddler confidently, with a big smile on your face and your back straight and don’t look nervous about doing it, people will be less likely to feel like they have the right to say something about it. But if you look nervous or if you mention any negatives about it, then they will take the opportunity to jump in with all sorts of advice about what you should be doing. I have found that making it very clear to people that I am happy with my choices and that they work for us usually keeps people from opening their mouths. I call it flaunting my crunch. [...]