However, I did create a document that recorded my wishes in the event of intervention being required. There was a fair bit of ‘I will not consent to’ in there and some specific things that I know go against standard policy at our local hospital.

I never had to test it’s effectiveness. I did transfer after my first birth with a retained placenta but there aren’t really any options with that.

I think the issue of control is vitally important. Birth is inherently uncontrollable, what will happen will happen, but my reading has lead me to conclude that women who lose control of what is DONE to them tend to end up feeling traumatised.

I wasn’t planning on doing a birth plan for my second birth (midwife-attended) because I was pretty sure we were on the same page at the midwives. But they encouraged me to outline a general plan, specifying things like “no formula, no offer of pain medication, no pitocin” – the things that would be important if for some reason the midwives weren’t there. Obviously if there was transfer of care it would be for medical reasons so some things may have become necessary, but it’s good to have the basics documented.

Oh, and we didn’t document everything, including the fact that we chose not to administer the eye goop.

The best advice my doula gave me was to research all my options – which she helped me do – and then develop a birth plan that stated my intentions for labour and delivery with the knowledge that some things in labour and delivery can’t be predicted.

Because my goal was to have a natural birth, my birth plan indicated that I didn’t want any interventions suggested to me unless it was necessary to the health of me and my baby. Well I ended up being induced because I was 10 days overdue and my doctor’s “standard procedure” is to induce at that point out of concern the baby’s health. I did feel pressured to be induced and with my daughter born with quite a lot of vernix, I think she wasn’t late so much as she was not ready to be born yet.

That intervention aside, my birth plan helped me to focus on my goal to labour without any pain management medication. My birth plan explicitly stated I was aware of the pain relief options available to me and didn’t want them offered to me – I would ask for them. My doula suggested my husband and I come up with a codeword (ladybug) that I would say to indicate to them I was thinking I needed pain relief. Fortunately I never had to use it!

Should I have another child, I will go the birth plan route again most definitely.

I was fortunate enough to have two out-of-hospital births with midwives I loved, trusted, and were incredibly respectful, so I can’t speak from experience about the need for one. But from the experiences my friends shared with me, I would absolutely recommend doing one if you think your desires would be out-of-the-ordinary. In the U.S., I would also recommend checking with your caregiver and the facility you plan to give birth in to understand their policies. With my second child, I chose to have a home birth (paid for out-of-pocket because it wasn’t covered by my insurance) because the only hospital within 100 miles of where I live would not make exceptions to their policies of IVs and continuous fetal monitoring. The first step to making sure your voice is heard is finding a caregiver who will listen.

That sums it up for me. By reading about everything I could about giving birth and then writing up my birth plan it made me knowledgeable enough so that when my OB or nurses were giving me information I wasn’t completely clueless. I had some interventions, but I was in agreement with the medical team and nothing was ever pushed on me. I also had the great help of my husband and my sister who had delivered 2 children naturally to help out and talk things through with me.

I’m going to have my second baby any day/week now and I’m going to write up a second birth plan and am very happy knowing where I will be giving birth that they will read and talk/discuss with me. They were totally against a c-section which makes me proud to be delivering at this hospital! And very VERY pro-breastfeeding.

Fast forward to baby #2 — TOTALLY different hospital (a birthing center feel) with a midwife. I had no written birth plan this time – simply an understanding with the midwife that I wanted a water birth with no interventions. Arrived at the hospital in transition again, hopped into the tub and within 20 minutes had birthed my daughter!

My belief is that the process of writing the birth plan for my son’s birth (as well as, rereading it, rewriting it a few times and then handing it to the staff) helped develop and solidify in me the mindset I would need to stand firm in what I wanted for my labor and my son’s birth. I had it in writing that I wanted the birth to go naturally. It was a fight from start to finish, but that was due to the location of the birth and not to my mindset or plan.

My midwife was reassuring from the first time I met her (at a Holistic Moms Network meeting – not in her office!) and I knew that my desire for a non-interventionist birth would be respected and acted upon – which is exactly how it went.