My oldest is almost 9 and did receive an allowance for a very brief time, but unfortuantely, we were too broke to sustain it and really needed that $2 a week for other things. Sad. But he is more interested in buying stuff now & I feel often like my “yes” and “no” are kind of arbitrary and I would love for them all to have a better idea of the value of money and how important it is to save and what we DID start telling them from a young age is that there is no college savings account being kept for them – they need to bust ass when it comes to their education.

Anyway, thanks for this post and the links. I did decide that I’m going to start an allowance for my oldest come the new year. I have to decide whether or not to include the twins. And they are all generally helpful around the house – my son is a great room straightener, they’ll all happily set or clean off the dining table, and they’d love to be more hands-on with meal prep. I think that the problem is actually that some other jobs, like laundry or taking out garbage, really aren’t kid-appropriate in our situation logistically.

My son asked me last night why I wasn’t punishing his sister for hurting him and I said, honestly, I just don’t think that the kind of punishment you are expecting me to dole out to her works – and lo, I’ve never punished you in that way, either. So the idea that I would pay them for additional tasks on top of working together to maintain a household is something that I’ve been struggling with. I’m looking forward to reading more & giving this lots of thought.

We do not link chores to any reward system, financial or otherwise. Everybody who lives in our family shares the work, sometimes voluntarily, sometimes when asked, because we all live in this home. So far the boys are very helpful and appreciate the natural benefits of housework: belongings that are easy to find, few broken toys, a clear space to play, a favorite shirt that is clean when you want it, etc. I don’t want to disrupt this by introducing a reward system! My feeling about an allowance is that it is a logical way to share the family wealth. All of us have responsibilities, and all of us share in the family wealth (which is officially earned by my husband, but all of us “work” one one way or another). Friends have challenged me, saying “what if they don’t work? The consequence for not working is not getting paid!” Is that true? Don’t most of us slack off sometimes without significant consequences? I didn’t do laundry yesterday, and consequently, I had to wear dirty jeans today. Nobody cut off my access to my bank account. Similarly, I won’t cut off an allowance because toys weren’t picked up when I wanted them to be.

I like the idea of spending money/savings/charity but thus far I have been uncomfortable with *requiring* a specific distribution. We do talk about saving and the tradeoff between spending now and saving for later, and we all have opportunities to share our wealth (in the form of our time, talent, or treasure) with others.

Hmmmm. Back to the think tank to figure out our own answer now.

I think I will consider the allowance thing once she is around 5years old. It might start sooner for her sister since as you mentioned, she will see her sister getting money and will expect the same treatment. I remember getting an allowance for completing my set chores but I’m not sure exactly how we will work it out. This will be a discussion between my husband and I in the future.

Personally, I think getting an allowance and being able to spend it how I wished helped me as an adult. I hate being in debt to anyone, I never wanted to borrow money from my parents as I was going to school. I hardly use my credit cards and when I do, I pay off the balance right away. So whatever my parents did, I guess it worked