I wanted to do the suppositories but I felt sosososo uncomfortable doing it, because she was screaming at the top of her lungs NOOOO MOMMY I DON’T WANT.

For a few days I let her watch me poop. and keep telling her that everybody poops. offered that she can go in her diapers like her baby bro if she wanted. What eventually worked was us not pressuring her AT ALL. One day, I allow her to soak in a warm bath. She asked to pee. I sat her on the potty, gave her the Ipod TOuch to play with and it all came out.

However, I think this particular problem is a little deeper- I have a dear friend whose daughter had the same problem, and it took her over a year to poop in the toilet for the first time. She would just hold it- she even held it in for 45 minutes after her mom gave her an enema (pre exam for possible colon issues). Eventually they went to flax oil and pedialax, but even then it took a year. She had no problem pooping in her diaper, though, so by this point her mom just put a diaper on her when she had to poop. For her it seemed to be more of a privacy issue and a positional issue. She always had to hide to do it, and she had to poop standing up (I can’t even imagine how that would be easier…). Eventually, though, with lots of patience she worked it out and does fine pooping on the toilet now.

breathe…i feel for you. my mother is currently visiting me and my family. she’s been here for over 2 weeks! typically when she comes to visit she divides her time equally but this time we’ve had her all to ourselves. growing up, my mother and i didn’t have the best relationship, but as i grow in motherhood, i find that whatever piece of solicited advice she gives me is welcomed and worthwhile. for example, this morning i had drama with my 5 yo over brushing her teeth! i insisted and she resisted and drama ensued. it was RIDICULOUS. when i later spoke to my mother she simply said, “leave her for now, she will eventually brush them.” [sigh, it all sounds so simple!]

i did not have any potty training issues with my daughters aged 2&5. in fact they started ‘early.’ we did not use the potty instead we purchased a princess toilet seat and put it on the ‘real’ toilet. [i personally have never understood the logic of having a child pee/poop in a separate place]. when my eldest made the transition from diaper to seat she would tell me when/if she had to go and that was that. i also put her on the toilet a few times/day without any fanfare. if she didn’t want to sit, i didn’t force the issue.

when it came time to attend montessori 1/2 day we had the ‘choice’ to attend the toddler class or casa, the difference being that if we wanted our daughter to attend casa she wld need to be completely toilet-trained. at 2 she was already quite verbal and had v good fine motor skills so to place her in the toddler class would not serve her intellectually. so i gave her the ‘choice.’

i purchased name-brand pull-ups [a TOTAL waste of money] and the ‘training’ began. i also purchased padded panties and regular cotton panties for variety. i recall the day when my daughter came out of the bathtub and we proceeded to get dressed. i had laid out the padded panties and the regular panties [some princess design]. she looked at me and asked me where the pull-ups were. i said, “oh, they’re finished, i only have these.” she then insisted that i “go and buy some!” to which i replied, “i don’t have any money.” to which she replied, “well, go and ask daddy for some money!” when i told her that he didn’t have any either she was perplexed. she sat on the bed and refused to get dressed. i calmly told her that the choice was hers. that she could either go BOTTOMLESS all day, or she could choose between the padded panties or the pretty cotton panties. at the suggestion that she go bottomless her eyes widened and she began to laugh. she chose the latter and that was that. we had maybe 1 or 2 accidents over the course of the next few days, and she was on her way! i was actually confused abt what to do at night, so i put on a “nightime diaper.” i was also conflicted because i thought that she might regress, but she didn’t. i explained that i had “nighttime” diapers for each night, but nothing for the day. i also hid the nighttime diapers so she wouldn’t find them. [i also made sure that the nighttime diapers looked different from the diapers that she had previously used in order to not confuse the day/night issue].

now with all of that being said, i know that this does not come close to sufficiently addressing the issue of being afraid to have a bowel movement, but i think if you can somehow take the drama out of the act itself, she might feel better. the issue of umpteen changes will only ‘encourage’ her to extend the drama. so maybe if you lay out say 8 diapers for the day, she knows that she has 8 opportunities to change. over a week you reduce it by 1/2 and then so on. until you don’t have anymore. then you introduce padded panties, and eventually cotton panties. somewhere in between, you go with her to purchase a princess toilet seat or whatever she likes. when she is down to using 8 diapers per day, then introduce the toilet seat. prior to that time, just keep it in the bathroom. get rid of the potty altogether. right now the potty represents something that is causing her discomfort. so just get rid of it. as far as she is concerned she does not have to be reminded of the potty anymore. no potty, no fear. not enough diapers, not so many opportunities to soil them. and so on…

with respect to the change in diet, that might also be causing some stress. all of a sudden she now has to eat all the p-foods. she must certainly be overwhelmed. i’m really big on ‘if i child doesn’t want to do something, don’t force them.’ eventually they find their sea-legs. worst case scenario? she has to have a child suppository to loosen her stools.

and this is what i learned from my mother. as moms, we get stressed out about what our children ‘aren’t’ doing. particularly when they resist. so all we have to do is remove the thing that is causing stress and hopefully the drama will diminish.

hope this helps!

take care, and good luck!
xobolaji

Thank you for your comment.

She is a big fruit eater, so I have been trying to ensure she has access to as much of it as she wants. I went grocery shopping yesterday and the only thing she really wanted was peaches and they didn’t have any (I hate Winter). She won’t eat canned peaches and there were no fresh ones at either of the two stores I tried. But she is eating melon and strawberries and other things.

I can’t believe your daughter went 4 weeks without a bowel movement. We get really worried and think she is going to explode on the inside when she goes 4 days without one. It’s good to know that we can relax a bit more if it is a long time. The challenge is that I really hate going out in public when it has been more than 3 days or so, because she screams in agony and does a little dance every time she needs to go. I did a 4 hour airplane ride with her doing that recently. Not fun!

http://www.amazon.com/Hurts-When-Poop-Children-Scared/dp/1433801310