Something else I did was resist making the older one grow up. She was still my baby, still cuddled, coddled, etc. We made no mention of being a big girl. That way she wasn’t usurped as baby, just joined.

Something that really helped my daughter was looking at photos of herself as a baby, and talking about those days. We do it a lot now that we have another baby, and I think it helps to reinforce to her that she’s our baby, too. And that she got to do all the ‘baby things’ as well.

What I was most worried about was the jealousy that may arrive in nursing. I weaned while preg. so there would be 6 months between his last nurse and when she came. To help, because he is a huge animal lover, we took his farm animals (the pigs in particular – mama pig was anatomically correct) and showed how the baby would nurse it’s mommy – like he once did, and like his sister would do. He would bring me the pigs and pretend nurse them a lot. There was zero jealously with the nursing when she came.

The other thing we are very cautious of is never saying he can’t do something because of the baby. Sometimes it’s postponed until after her nap/nurse whatever, but never because. We hope to avoid the blame this way (and so far, have been successful.)

It’s a balancing act. Nights are the hardest when both are needing cuddles to sleep, but my husband and I split ourselves up and it works. It’s hardest if one has to be alone for a bit.

Seeing him talk about her, kiss her goodnight, hold her hand and bring her toys is the most special thing right now. I never imagined having two would be this beautiful.

Thanks for the very relatable posts.

Just yesterday I was asking her if she would share her milk with her new baby brother. At first she said no, hugged my boob and said, “my milk!” I explained to her that milk is the only thing that the baby can eat, that he will need it and she will not be giving it up, but sharing it and she can even nurse at the same time as him. I left it at that and decided I would revisit the topic again later. Well, I never had to do that, because she brought it up on her own later in the day and said “share milk baby brother.” Just to be clear I asked her if she would share her milk with him and she belted out and excited “YES!”

I love the paragraph about making your lap bigger and the different ways that you explained to meet the babies needs while still being able to play with your toddler. I have a feeling I’m about to get a really good lesson on how to multi-task – lead by my daughter.