I read a story about weaning an autistic child; Doctors kept telling the Mum to wean her severely autistic baby because it was supposed to help him develop more. (WTF?) She refused & didn’t tell them – he weaned himself at 4 years of age by patting her boob after a feed & saying “all done now”. That was it – he was done, he called the shots & he thrived.

Despite being diagnosed as severely autistic, his breast feeding meant he became a well adjusted child despite his developmental delays.

Last night I went to dinner with my DH family; his sister in particular. The family is all very outspoken, to the point of down right rude, opinionated despite not reading up on anything much, think they’re exceptionally clever despite most of them having an average intelligence. So you get pummelled everytime you see them.

I am not vaccinating. I am planning to homeschool. I believe in the use of herbs & home remedies for all illness until I feel I can’t do anymore & even then I call my Naturopath instead of a doctor. I co sleep with my child. She cries for no more than 30 seconds before I pick her up. All of this to my DH’s family means I am a dumb hippie & am “abusing” my child (can you believe that?!)

I politely change the subject whenever its discussed or raised. I use my daughter on my lap as a way to steer the conversation away from my parenting.

This amazing Mum that wrote in could try a little “fake it till you make it” attitude. Arm herself with some reasources & knowledge like what’s in this article, fix a steely “don’t even go there!” look on her face & say “I am doing what I feel is best for my child – thank you! I have researched this more than any other parent I know & this is the best way forward…” They’ll back off when they’ve been told in no uncertain terms that they’re opinions aren’t welcome.

I had to do so with my MIL so I understand how this woman feels! She’s awesome, she should be getting Mother of the Year Awards! I applaud her & think she rocks!

Could you go on the retreat, see how the first night goes, and come back if need be?

When my son was 22 months and still night nursing, I had to go away for work for 2 nights. I thought it was going to be horrible. I had bottles ready for my partner to give to my son when he woke up at night (he hadn’t had a bottle in ages). When he did wake up the first night, he offered him a bottle and he said no. He offered him some water and he turned that down too. He then just calmly explained that Mommy wasn’t there, that she would be back in 2 days, and then cuddled him and he went right back to sleep. The second night he didn’t even wake up at all (which NEVER happened when I was there!).

I also took my pump with me and pumped while I was there. If you are going away for 3 days, you would need to take a pump with you to avoid getting engorged. Or at least ensure that you are able to hand express well enough if you don’t have a pump.

My son kept nursing after I came back home and continued for another 6 months.

But the change in subject tactic, my sister in law always does this. She just drops the line “I think I’m going to buy a power boat.” Simple as can be, doesn’t work with us anymore, but most people just stop and look at her. You could use just about anything in there.

My take on the whole dilemma is whether I am meeting her real need for connection, comfort and nutrition, versus what you mentioned about boredom or another “non-need” reason for her asking to nurse (i.e. I’m having a conversation with another person and she doesn’t want to entertain herself for two minutes). Right now she’s asking for my attention, so my thoughts are not complete – I want to read all the comments and be a part of the discussion. Thanks so much for starting it!