Comments on: Pink, feminism and gender cues http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/ ...exploring the art and science of parenting Sat, 11 Feb 2012 15:24:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: @momstownca Ann-Marie http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-159885 @momstownca Ann-Marie Fri, 16 Sep 2011 17:34:19 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-159885 SO agree with every word Annie! My son loves pink too as his main influence is his older sister. One of my pet peeves are toys that are generally ' gender neutral' being produced in both pink versions and red/blue versions. Cuz that play phone or school bus really needs to be PINK?? I am so NOT "girly girly so I also am interested in how my daughter has become so, as it's not from me.... Our momstown Hamilton wrote a blog this summer about her son's pink bias as well - great article and she was interviewed on it as well http://momstown-hamilton.blogspot.com/2011/07/momstown-hamilton-my-sons-favourite.html SO agree with every word Annie! My son loves pink too as his main influence is his older sister. One of my pet peeves are toys that are generally ‘ gender neutral’ being produced in both pink versions and red/blue versions. Cuz that play phone or school bus really needs to be PINK??
I am so NOT “girly girly so I also am interested in how my daughter has become so, as it’s not from me….
Our momstown Hamilton wrote a blog this summer about her son’s pink bias as well – great article and she was interviewed on it as well
http://momstown-hamilton.blogspot.com/2011/07/momstown-hamilton-my-sons-favourite.html

]]> By: Christine http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-156581 Christine Wed, 07 Sep 2011 01:38:05 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-156581 My daughter loves and has always loved pushing things - anything. Little shopping carts, strollers (doll or real size), toy lawn mowers, etc... She is 2 and still loves that low toy with wheels that is for babies learning to walk. We take them on walks, she goes around and around the house, etc... Yours probably is the same way and is not at all trying to reject babywearing. It's just fun to push stuff. :) My daughter loves and has always loved pushing things – anything. Little shopping carts, strollers (doll or real size), toy lawn mowers, etc… She is 2 and still loves that low toy with wheels that is for babies learning to walk. We take them on walks, she goes around and around the house, etc… Yours probably is the same way and is not at all trying to reject babywearing. It’s just fun to push stuff. :)

]]> By: diana http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-156102 diana Mon, 05 Sep 2011 17:38:00 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-156102 I have an almost 5yo boy. With long hair. And no prefferences whatsoever for what he usually wears, except for the moments when he's playing with something [for ex. getting closes out of the dresser and dressing as ninja. Or cowboy. Or Buzz Lightyear. With a shiny pink bag :)) and my sparkling received-never worn-don't know why I don't throw it away-glitery sleeveless tshirt. ] Did I say long hair? With pony tale because it's just too hot. Now, I know he is feeling good. I know he is a child living his childhood. I know I want to respect him and his decisions as much as I can. I know i want to support him and be there for him no matter what. But I also know he is going to be different for all his life. I know because I was too. I have a great mom, one who always supported me and my decisions, one who left me live my life and just be me, learn from my mistakes and enjoy the ride. But the truth is I did fell different. And just know, since I have a kid, I started thinking if It's ok for me to feel different. Because, in the end, I should be the normal person here :). And my son should. But we never will. Because the vast majority [here, I can't really say about other countries, but I have the feeling is the same pretty much everywhere] are not ok. They are people who were forced to act and feel obedient, to fit in a category, to look like the prototype. And know your post is making me wonder again. What meters most: to be yourself [and know I'm talking about a normal kid, who emphatise, who thinks, who feels, who enjoys] or to fit in. Is there really a middle way? Should I be distroing parts of him to make him fit in a society even I don't fancy to much? [aka don't be bullied] Should i leave him be and just be there, but make him feel different for all his life? Should I try find the middle way? P.S. This exposure to pink and blue is making me feel sick. How many yellow clothes do you find in a kid's store? How many orange? How many tones of green? Browns? How are they supposed to find they're own tastes if they are exposed to so little options? I have an almost 5yo boy. With long hair. And no prefferences whatsoever for what he usually wears, except for the moments when he’s playing with something [for ex. getting closes out of the dresser and dressing as ninja. Or cowboy. Or Buzz Lightyear. With a shiny pink bag :) ) and my sparkling received-never worn-don't know why I don't throw it away-glitery sleeveless tshirt. ] Did I say long hair? With pony tale because it’s just too hot.

Now, I know he is feeling good. I know he is a child living his childhood. I know I want to respect him and his decisions as much as I can. I know i want to support him and be there for him no matter what. But I also know he is going to be different for all his life.

I know because I was too. I have a great mom, one who always supported me and my decisions, one who left me live my life and just be me, learn from my mistakes and enjoy the ride. But the truth is I did fell different. And just know, since I have a kid, I started thinking if It’s ok for me to feel different. Because, in the end, I should be the normal person here :) . And my son should. But we never will. Because the vast majority [here, I can't really say about other countries, but I have the feeling is the same pretty much everywhere] are not ok. They are people who were forced to act and feel obedient, to fit in a category, to look like the prototype.

And know your post is making me wonder again. What meters most: to be yourself [and know I'm talking about a normal kid, who emphatise, who thinks, who feels, who enjoys] or to fit in. Is there really a middle way? Should I be distroing parts of him to make him fit in a society even I don’t fancy to much? [aka don't be bullied] Should i leave him be and just be there, but make him feel different for all his life? Should I try find the middle way?

P.S. This exposure to pink and blue is making me feel sick. How many yellow clothes do you find in a kid’s store? How many orange? How many tones of green? Browns? How are they supposed to find they’re own tastes if they are exposed to so little options?

]]> By: Lisa B http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-156015 Lisa B Mon, 05 Sep 2011 13:40:51 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-156015 My son does have a doll & a stroller. He LOVES those things. I don't understand the issue of people getting hung up on a boy having a doll. He may one day grow up to be a dad. And like Whozat said, he's pretending to be dad. I have two boys now & mostly they don't play with the doll, but sometimes they do. They change it & feed it & rock it. They also throw it and bash it and bang it. But it is there for them to figure it out. Dolls for boys YES please! My son does have a doll & a stroller. He LOVES those things. I don’t understand the issue of people getting hung up on a boy having a doll. He may one day grow up to be a dad. And like Whozat said, he’s pretending to be dad.
I have two boys now & mostly they don’t play with the doll, but sometimes they do. They change it & feed it & rock it. They also throw it and bash it and bang it. But it is there for them to figure it out.
Dolls for boys YES please!

]]> By: Whozat http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-155856 Whozat Mon, 05 Sep 2011 02:16:44 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-155856 I read this story in the book "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" (which, obviously, addresses the whole princess - and PrincessTM - issue). The rest of the story is that the other boy replied "Oh, everybody has a penis. You're wearing barrettes and that means you're a girl!" I read this story in the book “Cinderella Ate My Daughter” (which, obviously, addresses the whole princess – and PrincessTM – issue).

The rest of the story is that the other boy replied “Oh, everybody has a penis. You’re wearing barrettes and that means you’re a girl!”

]]> By: phdinparenting http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-155840 phdinparenting Mon, 05 Sep 2011 00:47:39 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-155840 My daughter puts her "babies" to sleep in their own bed. They need to sleep by themselves, she says. She has also said that "next time" she is a baby, she wants to sleep in a crib. But will she go to sleep without a parent lying with her? No... Sigh. My daughter puts her “babies” to sleep in their own bed. They need to sleep by themselves, she says. She has also said that “next time” she is a baby, she wants to sleep in a crib.

But will she go to sleep without a parent lying with her? No…

Sigh.

]]> By: Whozat http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-155834 Whozat Mon, 05 Sep 2011 00:32:48 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-155834 I think this is actually a huge factor in why everything is marketed to be so gender-specific. So people DO feel like they have to buy all new for a younger sibling of the other sex. That said, my daughter's room has a panda theme, and is black and white with red accents. That was decided before we were even 100% sure we were going to try to have a baby. (My partner was uncertain, and at one point said, "If you could just have a baby panda..." (this is when the one at the National Zoo was a baby) so I suggested a panda room and Halloween costume.) I think this is actually a huge factor in why everything is marketed to be so gender-specific. So people DO feel like they have to buy all new for a younger sibling of the other sex.

That said, my daughter’s room has a panda theme, and is black and white with red accents. That was decided before we were even 100% sure we were going to try to have a baby.

(My partner was uncertain, and at one point said, “If you could just have a baby panda…” (this is when the one at the National Zoo was a baby) so I suggested a panda room and Halloween costume.)

]]> By: Whozat http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-155832 Whozat Mon, 05 Sep 2011 00:24:08 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-155832 This one is a major pet peeve of mine - people (especially dads) who have a problem with their sons playing with dolls. Hello, Dad? He's pretending to be YOU! (That said, it bugs me to no end that my daughter so loves to push her dolls and stuffed animals around in the toy stroller than someone gave her for her 1st birthday, because we are a babywearing family, and she's not been in a stroller for more than a total of maybe 10 minutes in her life. Long enough to realize that it was more effective as a luggage cart, during the three times it actually left the house with us.) This one is a major pet peeve of mine – people (especially dads) who have a problem with their sons playing with dolls.

Hello, Dad? He’s pretending to be YOU!

(That said, it bugs me to no end that my daughter so loves to push her dolls and stuffed animals around in the toy stroller than someone gave her for her 1st birthday, because we are a babywearing family, and she’s not been in a stroller for more than a total of maybe 10 minutes in her life. Long enough to realize that it was more effective as a luggage cart, during the three times it actually left the house with us.)

]]> By: AliD http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-155812 AliD Sun, 04 Sep 2011 22:41:35 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-155812 I have two boys and a girl. When my daughter was born, she received several clothing gifts which were entirely pastel pink. I couldn't bring myself to dress her in them. Now she is two and clearly shows a preference for pink, although not exclusively. My eldest son (now 13) when three years old show a particular penchant for the colour pink. 'Strangely' this penchant disappeared as soon as he started school. Of course the irony is that at the beginning of the 20th Century, pink was for boys and blue for girls. I have two boys and a girl. When my daughter was born, she received several clothing gifts which were entirely pastel pink. I couldn’t bring myself to dress her in them. Now she is two and clearly shows a preference for pink, although not exclusively. My eldest son (now 13) when three years old show a particular penchant for the colour pink. ‘Strangely’ this penchant disappeared as soon as he started school.

Of course the irony is that at the beginning of the 20th Century, pink was for boys and blue for girls.

]]> By: Gender Secret — For How Long Really? | PhD in Parenting http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/06/pink-feminism-and-gender-cues/#comment-130820 Gender Secret — For How Long Really? | PhD in Parenting Tue, 24 May 2011 22:09:53 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=2595#comment-130820 [...] agree that it is best to shield small children from gender stereotypes and being pigeon-hold into specific roles, likes and [...] [...] agree that it is best to shield small children from gender stereotypes and being pigeon-hold into specific roles, likes and [...]

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