Comments on: I left my kids for five days and it was okay http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/ ...exploring the art and science of parenting Sat, 11 Feb 2012 15:24:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Adventures In Babywearing http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-87156 Adventures In Babywearing Sun, 24 Oct 2010 05:28:54 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-87156 I'm revisiting this post tonight as I can't sleep for the anxiety I have for Blissdom11. (months away!) (I won't be going to Blissdom Canada). I just don't know if I can leave all my kids that long. But I'm also struggling with- should I be able to leave them? Is it GOOD for them to be apart from me? Am I hurting them in some way if they grow up with me never being apart from them? I'm googling and not finding it much help. In the past I have always had Ivy, but she's at the age now that I wouldn't want to bring her. I think I'm most worried about my older boys. Carter is 8 and he can get really "homesick" for me when I'm gone just one night. When I weigh the pros/cons of going to the conference or missing out and staying home I keep coming back to wanting to stay home. I just feel like the only blogger that can not leave her kids for a trip or conference... Sigh. Steph I’m revisiting this post tonight as I can’t sleep for the anxiety I have for Blissdom11. (months away!) (I won’t be going to Blissdom Canada).

I just don’t know if I can leave all my kids that long. But I’m also struggling with- should I be able to leave them? Is it GOOD for them to be apart from me? Am I hurting them in some way if they grow up with me never being apart from them? I’m googling and not finding it much help.

In the past I have always had Ivy, but she’s at the age now that I wouldn’t want to bring her. I think I’m most worried about my older boys. Carter is 8 and he can get really “homesick” for me when I’m gone just one night. When I weigh the pros/cons of going to the conference or missing out and staying home I keep coming back to wanting to stay home. I just feel like the only blogger that can not leave her kids for a trip or conference…

Sigh.

Steph

]]> By: Jessica - This is Worthwhile http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-40540 Jessica - This is Worthwhile Mon, 15 Feb 2010 19:12:44 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-40540 Hahaha If all goes well I'll be holding @Loukia's hand at BlogHer since we're planning on being roommates this year and she's definitely nervous about being away. And I don't blame her, it's certainly hard those first few times! But I agree with you wholeheartedly on the things that might make it easier and above all else the #1 thing is comfort with the caregivers. Comprehension of language and time are great, but that's just gravy in my book. I had to leave my son for several days when he was a little younger than 18 months and his father took time off work to be a full-time dad. Hollis didn't blink an eye. He ran around the house looking for me, but accepted that mommy wasn't around and didn't think twice about it. Had I left him with someone OTHER than his father, I doubt this would have been the case. He would have been off balance, nervous, and otherwise upset. Also, kids tend to reflect what you put out there. If you're confident that things are going to go well, then they'll lean in that direction. I knew my husband and son were going to do a bang up job and they did. Hahaha If all goes well I’ll be holding @Loukia’s hand at BlogHer since we’re planning on being roommates this year and she’s definitely nervous about being away. And I don’t blame her, it’s certainly hard those first few times!

But I agree with you wholeheartedly on the things that might make it easier and above all else the #1 thing is comfort with the caregivers. Comprehension of language and time are great, but that’s just gravy in my book.

I had to leave my son for several days when he was a little younger than 18 months and his father took time off work to be a full-time dad. Hollis didn’t blink an eye. He ran around the house looking for me, but accepted that mommy wasn’t around and didn’t think twice about it. Had I left him with someone OTHER than his father, I doubt this would have been the case. He would have been off balance, nervous, and otherwise upset.

Also, kids tend to reflect what you put out there. If you’re confident that things are going to go well, then they’ll lean in that direction. I knew my husband and son were going to do a bang up job and they did.

]]> By: Things to Write Home About – 2/14/10 | Feels Like Home http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-40395 Things to Write Home About – 2/14/10 | Feels Like Home Mon, 15 Feb 2010 04:37:26 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-40395 [...] Annie from PhD in Parenting left her kids for five days – and they were all okay [...] [...] Annie from PhD in Parenting left her kids for five days – and they were all okay [...]

]]> By: Marcy http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-40114 Marcy Sun, 14 Feb 2010 04:24:22 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-40114 I was supposed to go to a 4-day conference this weekend. It would have been my longest trip away from my 2yr old. Weather got in the way, cancelling our flights... but I feel pretty confident that it would have gone fine. My mom flew out to take care of D, and he likes her almost more than me so between her and my husband I know he would've been in great hands. The other time we've left is for 1 and a 2-night stay away, while leaving him with my mom and step-dad. Both times it went great, and he hardly even seemed to miss us (though was clearly happy to see us upon our return). I was supposed to go to a 4-day conference this weekend. It would have been my longest trip away from my 2yr old. Weather got in the way, cancelling our flights… but I feel pretty confident that it would have gone fine. My mom flew out to take care of D, and he likes her almost more than me so between her and my husband I know he would’ve been in great hands.

The other time we’ve left is for 1 and a 2-night stay away, while leaving him with my mom and step-dad. Both times it went great, and he hardly even seemed to miss us (though was clearly happy to see us upon our return).

]]> By: MZ http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-39432 MZ Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:52:34 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-39432 This summer will be the first time I'm traveling without my son, and only sort of. Last summer I had a conference for work, he was 6 months old, so I brought my mother along and she brought him to me every 2-3 hours to nurse. This summer he'll be 18 months and when I have the same conference, he'll come with me again, but the next month I'm doing a long weekend trip in Chicago with my college roommates, neither of whom have kids. I arranged for the trip to be in a city near my mother and sister, so my son will fly out with me and spend the few days with them. I'm hoping this will be a good arrangement. This summer will be the first time I’m traveling without my son, and only sort of. Last summer I had a conference for work, he was 6 months old, so I brought my mother along and she brought him to me every 2-3 hours to nurse. This summer he’ll be 18 months and when I have the same conference, he’ll come with me again, but the next month I’m doing a long weekend trip in Chicago with my college roommates, neither of whom have kids. I arranged for the trip to be in a city near my mother and sister, so my son will fly out with me and spend the few days with them. I’m hoping this will be a good arrangement.

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-39428 Jennifer Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:20:16 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-39428 Next month I'm leaving both kids with my sister and her family while my husband and I go away for 4 days. My husband won the trip at work and totally deserves it . I have left my 3.5 yo ds when dh has won these trips before but we always brought our 21 mo dd. All I can think about is while I'm getting a massage they'll be screaming for me. I keep reminding myself that they are in safe hands, they love being with their aunt, uncle and cousins. And that I'm with them 7 days a weeks almost 24 hrs a day (depending if I can use the bathroom alone). I'm also just over half way through my pregnancy with their sibling. Mommy needs a massge and some one else to make dinner and plan her day. Next month I’m leaving both kids with my sister and her family while my husband and I go away for 4 days. My husband won the trip at work and totally deserves it . I have left my 3.5 yo ds when dh has won these trips before but we always brought our 21 mo dd. All I can think about is while I’m getting a massage they’ll be screaming for me.
I keep reminding myself that they are in safe hands, they love being with their aunt, uncle and cousins. And that I’m with them 7 days a weeks almost 24 hrs a day (depending if I can use the bathroom alone). I’m also just over half way through my pregnancy with their sibling. Mommy needs a massge and some one else to make dinner and plan her day.

]]> By: mimi http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-39427 mimi Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:19:48 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-39427 Oh wait. I can remember my own mom having to travel for work (taking summer courses to upgrade to a BEd after having gone to teachers college in teh 60s) and vividly recall how much I missed her, how much I wanted to be near her, even though my sister and I were in a Caregiver Paradise of cottages and cousins and all the fun we could ever want. Oh wait. I can remember my own mom having to travel for work (taking summer courses to upgrade to a BEd after having gone to teachers college in teh 60s) and vividly recall how much I missed her, how much I wanted to be near her, even though my sister and I were in a Caregiver Paradise of cottages and cousins and all the fun we could ever want.

]]> By: phdinparenting http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-39426 phdinparenting Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:19:32 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-39426 You MUST come to Blissdom Canada! You MUST come to Blissdom Canada!

]]> By: mimi http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-39425 mimi Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:17:57 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-39425 I have to travel for work several times a year, for days at a time, sometimes overseas, and to be honest, as Munchkin gets older (now 3.5) I am LESS comfortable/happy leaving her. I miss her a lot more now that she's more like 'people' and less a bundle of overwhelming physical needs with a very bad temper. Her father is perfectly competent and happy to care for her solo. But I miss her with an increasingly fierce passion when I travel now, much more so than when she was 18 months old, or 2 years old. I HATE to be gone from her. She is so articulate now about how much she misses me and how much she loves me and all that. It kills me. No one is making me feel bad except myself. I wonder where all this guilt and angst suddenly came from? I have to travel for work several times a year, for days at a time, sometimes overseas, and to be honest, as Munchkin gets older (now 3.5) I am LESS comfortable/happy leaving her. I miss her a lot more now that she’s more like ‘people’ and less a bundle of overwhelming physical needs with a very bad temper.

Her father is perfectly competent and happy to care for her solo. But I miss her with an increasingly fierce passion when I travel now, much more so than when she was 18 months old, or 2 years old. I HATE to be gone from her. She is so articulate now about how much she misses me and how much she loves me and all that. It kills me. No one is making me feel bad except myself. I wonder where all this guilt and angst suddenly came from?

]]> By: Adventures In Babywearing http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/02/10/i-left-my-kids-for-five-days-and-it-was-okay/#comment-39424 Adventures In Babywearing Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:15:53 +0000 http://www.phdinparenting.com/?p=3888#comment-39424 At Blissdom this weekend I did have Ivy BUT I put her in childcare some of the time which I NEVER do! And I'm already thinking about leaving her if I go to Blissdom Canada!!! Steph At Blissdom this weekend I did have Ivy BUT I put her in childcare some of the time which I NEVER do! And I’m already thinking about leaving her if I go to Blissdom Canada!!!

Steph

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