Comments on: Carnival of Gentle Discipline

By: Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries

Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 01:24:13 +0000

For those of you still following comment here the Carnival of Gentle Discipline is going on now! Great posts from some powerful voices in parenting! http://www.babydustdiaries.com/2010/04/what-is-gentle-discipline/

By: Jaclyn

Jaclyn — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:42:22 +0000

Spanking is hitting. It ruins the relationship between the parent and child. My son and I have a very good relationship. The other day I said something and ended it with “or i’ll beat you senseless”. my son giggled and stuck his tongue out at me because he knew I WOULD NEVER do that, that it was a joke. He trusts me. He doesn’t worry that i’m going to wallop him if he messes up, that i’m going to threaten him. I value him as a human being and would never intentionally cause him pain… how could a parent do that?!

By: Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries

Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 23:26:39 +0000

I wanted to apologize. My blog was eaten by blogger this morning (perhaps because of a picture of me nursing, the verdict is still out) and I had to move to WordPress. The link to the carnival page is: http://www.babydustdiaries.com/?p=537

Sorry for the inconvenience and I hope to see you all during the Carnival!

By: Kayris

Kayris — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:34:14 +0000

I’m looking forward to reading posts from the carnival, especially after I logged on to check my email this morning and read an article about the latest study that indicates spanking is an indicator of future aggression. I should know better by now than to read comments on Yahoo, but I was disgusted by the number of commenters who believe that spanking is a neccesary discipline tool. I’m not at all convinced that all spanking is bad, because, as a previous commenter said, there are so many shades of gray and it depends on the child, the parent, the infraction, the intent behind the spanking, the anger level. But having never spanked my children, who are remarkably well behaved, it floors me that so many people think ALL children who are never spanked are coddled, spoiled little dictators who will grow up to be spoiled, difficult adults.

I’ve also found that understanding development and age appropriate behavior keeps me calmer and saner when it comes to correcting my children and teaching them the right way to behave. So many people expect way too much of kids and want them to act like adults far before they have the maturity to do so.

By: Joanne

Joanne — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:19:54 +0000

So interested to hear about this! We have an almost 3 year old and are staunch supporters of Gentle Discipline. I hope to participate!

By: Being Gentle « Bebellyboo

Being Gentle « Bebellyboo — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:17:27 +0000

[...] the word out about the wonderful Carnival of Gentle Discipline. I just found out about by way of PhD Parenting who linked to the source at The Baby Dust [...]

By: Theresa

Theresa — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:12:05 +0000

Funny – Just went from this post in my RSS reader to one from NPR: Spanking leads to more aggressive kids: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2010/04/spanking_can_cause_children_to.html?sc=fb&cc=fp

By: Ailbhe

Ailbhe — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:01:39 +0000

Jessica Maday: I find putting myself in “time out” (not words I use; I say “going to sit quietly until I feel calm” or, if very stressed, “until I can cope again”) very effective.

Andy: My children are much better behaved when I don’t have PMS and I’m not hungry. If I have PMS *and* I’m hungry, they are little demons. Luckily, chocolate solves that…

By: Andy

Andy — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 18:31:37 +0000

Everyone always comments on how “well-behaved” Claudia is. I have been using gentle parenting since day one. Between 6months and 1 year that meant a TON of re-direction, but by the time she was 1 she knew the concepts of toy, not a toy, and for work. (We thought her for work, so she wouldn’t touch other people’s computer’s or phones. She knows that not all phones are “touchable”). She picked this stuff up like a sponge –she even corrects me sometimes!

She has learned that actions have consequences. I have let her roll of the sofa and get a bump after telling her that she could get hurt (we only do this for the “small” stuff) and she has learned to trust my judgment. I think trust is a big thing when it comes to parenting. We have never used the “Because I said so” –she wont learn consequences and reasons from that. My parents and the ILs think I am way too permissive (sometimes even DH). But a non-hungry almost 3y/o is not going to stay at a dinner table with adults talking without getting bored, so I don’t expect her to.

It is funny, the people who think I am too permissive are the ones that think she is an angel. :\

She is not an angel, I just know what to expect from her and I play to her strengths. Why punish a kid when she has a tantrum at the toy section of Target when you were the one that brought her tired and hungry? It boggles the mind (and DH has done this to C and then asked me why she had a tantrum with him and she never has one with me at the store)

By: Jessica Maday

Jessica Maday — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 17:46:17 +0000

I don’t find a time-out to an unreasonable consequence for misbehaving. I agree it is over used which does make it a useless punishment. I rarely used it for my 3 year old now because I believe other methods are more effective. But when she was younger it was a consequence she understood which helped her in turn choose not to misbehave. Also children aren’t little people. They have no ability for abstract reasoning and have trouble controlling their emotions. They do need to be treated differently. I’m not saying they should be ordered around. They should be treated with respect but they should not be treated as if they are a very short adult.