Comments on: The kind of day it has been

By: The Bad Moms Club | Do As I Say…Because It Is The Right Thing To Do

The Bad Moms Club | Do As I Say…Because It Is The Right Thing To Do — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 13:42:02 +0000

[...] however, still have some learning to do. I ask them to do something and they ignore me, defy me, or outright mock the request. Don’t they realize that it would be easier to live with me if they just did what I asked [...]

By: Grin and bear it? Parenting, happiness and the pressure cooker | PhD in Parenting

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 06:32:43 +0000

[...] who have no friends nearby and almost no activities that they participate in, I know how hard it can be sometimes. I know that I was often stressed. I know that I did not always have a smile on my [...]

By: frauflan

frauflan — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 11:17:24 +0000

I love this story, it so beautifully illustrates how powerless we sometimes are when it comes to trying to control/protect our children. I struggle with how best to react to this kind of situation, ie: when you tell your child not to do something and they do it anyway. In my mind I fast forward to the teenage years and imagine the same sort of situation that I’ve seen many friends already deal with ie: you tell your teen they can’t do something and they sneak out and do it anyway and I imagine feeling just as helpless then as I do with a 4 year old only the issues become that much bigger and that much harder to control.

By: Amber Morrisey

Amber Morrisey — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 22:33:36 +0000

Oh man. I can totally see his face and your during this.

I like dirt. But of the soil variety.

By: phdinparenting

phdinparenting — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 13:04:24 +0000

I am familiar with Gordon Neufeld. I love his book Hold on To Your Kids. I haven't picked it up in a while though and can't remember if it discussed counterwill. I will look it up though.

By: Theresa

Theresa — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 12:56:55 +0000

What you describe is a brilliant example of counterwill! I first learned about this dynamic through Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s work, though I had loads of experience with it before that, thanks to my tot. Understanding the developmental role of counterwill has definitely helped me get through days like yours just a little easier. Are you familiar with Neufeld? He’s Canadian!

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 05:41:28 +0000

So sorry it has been one of those kinds of days. We had an issue at a store today – a bit of a misunderstanding about the fun ladybug ride-on that had to stay at the store.

Jennifer – My youngest screams. (such as after the above-mentioned event) I don’t have a perfect answer except that being a model of cool/calm/collected is extra important during those times. I just say, “Owie – that hurts my ears.” or “You must be tired. Tired kids scream.” Sometimes I sing a song that I know she likes and will join in (sometimes). I’ve heard of some people whispering to their child when their child starts yelling, but I don’t know if that works or not. Just a thought. If we’re somewhere public, we go away to somewhere less public so she can calm down and I can not feel so on-the-spot.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 19:47:26 +0000

But I’m open to tips…

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 19:47:01 +0000

Walker is only a little over a year, but stubborn as they come. I took him with me to a baby shower today. N-O-T F-U-N. Walker stop screaming. Walker, be nice. Walker don’t throw. Walker stop throwing food on the floor. Walker STOP!

It’s the screaming I can’t stand though. The other things, I can redirect him most of the time. How do you redirect from screaming. 1-2-3 works okay, sometimes.

By: Anji

Anji — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 14:32:21 +0000

I feel very lucky that Orion (4y9m) detests being dirty – he’s quite the princess about it actually. Even after something as innocuous as eating a banana he’ll come right over and demand… I mean ask nicely… that I pull out a baby wipe and clean up his hands.