Comments on: Progressive parenting from a position of privilege?

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 15:23:04 +0000

All I can share is the journey I traveled, which sounds similar to yours. I took my skills, human relations, and went into the most oppressed population I knew in our county and applied my skills as a volunteer. I did this for 5 years or thereabouts. I helped families who were members of our local NAACP branch whittle through the outrageous policies and procedures of our local school system’s student code of conduct and expulsion policy. Through those experiences I was able to understand so much more, and see so much more , and gain friends who other than their skin color seemed to be much more like me than different. But through trust and time, I learned very deeply that MLKs words were true – what wrongs one, wrongs us all. White, heterosexual and the privileged just haven’t been in the minority – yet – but when they are – and they will be – the exact same policies and procedures will oppress them equally.

By: The Science of Evil and Empathy | PhD in Parenting

The Science of Evil and Empathy | PhD in Parenting — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 01:41:44 +0000

[...] Nature, Nurture and More : Books that Influenced Me The Empathy Deficit Teaching Tolerance Progressive Parenting from a Position of Privilege (read the comments for great ideas) // [...]

By: Cassaundra

Cassaundra — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 03:04:20 +0000

Because I have been parenting first as a single mom and now as a low-income parent, i can speak to parenting without that particular privilege. My suggestion is that you guys consider doing an exercise that was created to help social workers understand the obstacles that income support recipients truly face. the original exercise was a theatre/performance art piece that took them through the “maze” of conflicting and onerous requirements that recipients are faced with. i can’t help you to access that piece, but i can suggest a similar exercise. find out how much money your family would receive if you were forced to turn to Ontario Works in order to survive. I know you’re in Germany now, so this would be when you’re back home, but call up your local OW office and find out how much you’d receive. then actually live on it for a month. or as long as you can stand it. this might be a better exercise for older kids, but try to put yourself in the place of a family that has to decide between rent and food, because those are the choices that low-income Canadians are faced with. Try and do the math on whether you can afford to work in a minimum wage job, taking into account the cost of daycare and the deductions from your monthly allowance, (which are often higher than what you earn, but are at least 50%, the highest marginal tax rate in Canada is paid by income support recipients) keep in mind that you will probably not be able to afford a car and try and live entirely without one for a month. do your grocery shopping on the bus, or in a taxi. shop the grocery stores in low income areas and discover that the prices are HIGHER because the owners know the poor people can’t get transport to shop around. actually try to live the life. talk to your children about it. whenever you make a spending decision, talk about the difference between what your usual income will buy and what the budget allotted on income support buys. TRULY walk a mile in the shoes of another. It is then that you’ll begin to understand, have compassion and perhaps make some changes. However, just understanding really helps.

By: Loukia

Loukia — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 19:57:24 +0000

I too and privilaged and therefore, so are my children. My children, although I don’t like to classify them as spoiled, do get what they want, for the most part, not only because I can’t say no, (another story altogether!) but because if I can provide them things they want, why not? At the same time, let me just say that we raise our children to be respectful, to appreciate everything we have, to share, to teach them about the world and that we have to work HARD for what we want, to stay in school to get educated, and to give back as much as we can. We donate to CHEO often, and we recently gave 3 massive bags filled with toys and books to a pregnant single mother who requested stuff for her baby-to-be. My children love to donate, they love to help out when they can, and they are very well behaved despite their privilage. We talk about others in parts of the world who are less fortunante than us, and we answers all questions my oldest son has openly and honestly. As long as we keep them grounded, aware, and on a continuous learning cycle, while helping others, they’ll be okay!

By: Summer

Summer — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 04:00:07 +0000

Gods know I don’t have all the answers, and I manage to screw a lot of them up myself. What I’ve gathered is to keep communication open, regularly unpack your privilege in front of the kids, and press empathy as often as you can.

By: B

Sun, 20 Jun 2010 13:57:52 +0000

You ladies are wonderful. I’ve really enjoyed this thread and it has given me a lot to think about.

By: Veronica

Veronica — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 13:19:03 +0000

I love this post (I never comment). Not many people will admit to parenting from a position of privilege.
Its great that your eyes are open to the position and that you do everything possible to create a well rounded family.

By: phdinparenting

phdinparenting — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 22:32:04 +0000

I just wanted to say thank you for all of the great ideas and stories here. I’m reading, and re-reading, and absorbing. Thank you.

By: phdinparenting

phdinparenting — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 22:16:29 +0000

Amy:

All that paperwork sounds horrendous. I’m so sorry.

I volunteered one year to help low income Canadians and immigrants with their tax returns. Unfortunately (or fortunately), they had too many volunteers and I wasn’t needed in the end.

By: phdinparenting

phdinparenting — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 21:51:35 +0000

angela:

Thank you for your thoughts. I was thinking of “less fortunate” more from the perspective of privilege, which could include material aspects, but also other aspects. For example, being less fortunate because you are discriminated against, have to fear for your safety, etc.