Due to a variety of very odd geopolitical realities and bureaucratic idiocies I chose to have my baby delivered by an obstetrician in a hospital. I knew going into it that my choice of birth setting and birth attendant meant that my chances of having a natural birth were significantly lowered. But I was committed to ensuring that in the absence of any significant medical problems that I would be able to deliver my baby naturally.
For me that meant reading a lot of the right books and developing a strong birth plan. It also meant having a doula to support me and ensure that my needs were met during the birth and that I was as comfortable as possible at all stages. In the later stages of my pregnancy, I prepared my birth plan and reviewed it at the hospital with the obstetrician to ensure that all of my wishes would be respected within the framework of their model of care. In the end, I had a quick, uneventful, dare I say easy, natural birth and was able to start breastfeeding within a minute or so of delivering. The hospital was respectful of my needs and my doula ensured I had the support and assistance I needed.
In the past few days, I’ve seen Sara (lil_gruntlings) of Custom-Made Milk tweeting a lot about the need to ensure that your hospital is truly supportive of natural birth (if that is your preference). She ended up changing hospitals at the last minute when she discovered that she was not going to get the support she wanted for her choices. I thought that was a really great point and when I saw a great new article up on Mothering called 10 Maternity Center Questions, it seemed like a perfect complement to that conversation and her recommendation.
The 10 questions the Mothering article recommends you ask are:
- Are there any restrictions on who is allowed in the room?
- Can I eat and drink during labor?
- Can I walk and move around during labor?
- What are the rooms like?
- Will I have to change rooms during my stay?
- Are there rules about what I can wear and what I can bring?
- Do I have to deliver lying flat on my back?
- Can I nurse my baby immediately?
- Can my partner stay with me after the baby is born? What accommodations are available?
- How does the hospital support breastfeeding?
The 10 Maternity Center Questions article has more details on the importance of each of those questions and why you might want to ask them. I’d encourage you to check it out!
In the event that you cannot have the perfect birth environment or that something goes differently than planned, you should also consider what you are willing to compromise on and what you would dig your heels in about. The hospital staff is there to work with you and if you are confrontational the first time there is a disagreement about something, it could set the tone for a difficult birth. But if you are willing to bend on something that is not that big of a deal, then they might be more accommodating of other wishes too. For example, I wanted to wear my own clothes and the obstetrician had said I would be able to. In the end, the nurse insisted that I wear the hospital gown. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it wasn’t a big deal either. However, when the nurse suggested that I might want to get up on the bed and put my feet in the stirrups when I really didn’t want to do that, I put my foot down and said that I wanted to continue labouring standing up at that point in time.
Did you have a natural birth in a hospital setting? What did you do to ensure your wishes were respected? How did you prepare? Did you run into any obstacles?
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I would add to the part about digging your heels in versus letting some things go that you also have to decide when to listen to your doctors. I was stubborn as hell about a natural birth and turned to an epidural after 28 hours of a tough labor (after 48 hours of pre-labor). As it turns out, I likely narrowly escaped an emergency c-section. I should have trusted the doctors earlier when they said that an epidural was just needed for this to be a vaginal birth in the first place rather than being difficult. The voice in my head kept saying, “oh, these awful hospital doctors, they’re trying to convince of their awful little schemes of medication!” Turns out, they were right all along – I was one of those cases for which medication is in fact needed. I wish my mind had been more open to that possibility.
I did have a natural birth (med free birth) in the hospital. I had a detailed birthplan, four pages long. Although, I was “made” to sign a release for an epidural as soon as we got there. Other than that- everyone was quiet, unseen and supportive. I think I just had the right type of nurses- by chance and feel very lucky. Besides making me sign the release form, no other mention of drugs or relief were issued or mentioned. Also, I had a midwife deliever, I think that was a strong message in itself. Everyone was pretty laid back and easy going.
We were treated with respect and I’m so thankful.
I had an unmedicated birth in a hospital setting–a teaching hospital at that–and one that is known for being quick to intervene. We deliberately chose a hospital setting (my father is an OB and my husband likes to be cautious). However, we were also deliberate in our communication of our wishes. We wrote a ‘birth vision statement’ rather than a ‘birth plan’. It was a simple one page document, with bulleted statements. A month before our due date, I had the document placed in my hospital chart; we presented the document to our nurse upon admission; we tacked it to the bulletin board in my LDR room. My husband and I were on the same page. As a result, we both gave consistent messages to all hospital staff. In addition, we were respectful (both in the document as well as in our communication) of the staff’s expertise and honest that we had deliberately chosen a hospital setting on the off chance that something went wrong. I had a beautiful, peaceful, and deliberate labor and birth. And, oh were we thankful that we were in a hospital setting when our little one struggled to breathe only moments after birth. After one nervous hour, she began to breathe normally on her own–and we returned to our birth vision and postpartum vision of gentle, intervention-free, family-focused time. Our nurses, resident, and doc all commented on how refreshing, rewarding, and fun it was to participate in our birth… So clear, consistent, respectful communication is my key to a successful unmedicated hospital birth.
I had an unmedicated birth in a hospital, but I have to say, get a doula! My mom and DH said they would advocate for me, but when it came down to it and the attending physician tried to tell me my baby was too big and would get stuck and probably die between my legs from shoulder distocia and I *should’ve* had a C-section weeks ago and I would have if I were *her* patient, they got scared and urged me to get the section. I KNEW I could birth him and insisted on it and he was totally average size: 8 pounds, 20 inches. I got him out in 4 contractions and rushed because I wanted to prove a point and ended up with serious tearing and an episiotomy. I gave in to a lot of the hospital demands because I was scared and there was no level-headed person there to say, “Wait, why does she NEED an IV?” After some woman who’s never seen me before flat-out telling me I would not be able to deliver my baby, I didn’t even insist on pushing in the squatting position, which was my plan, because I just wanted to get the baby OUT. BTW, I will never have a baby in a hospital again. Not only did they traumatize me during the delivery, but they insisted on a LOT of formula supplementation that I realize now was totally unnecessary. Even when you educate yourself and have a birth plan, they use scare tactics to get you to acquiesce. At the end of the day, I wanted my baby to be healthy and well-taken care of and you feel at the mercy of these nurses and doctors.
I was lucky enough to have a natural birth in a hospital as well. I say “lucky” because my daughter was born sunny side up and a close friend of mine had to have a c-section because of the exact same circumstances. To prepare for my birth, I took Bradley classes and made the effort to read as much as possible. I had an extensive birth plan that I discussed with both my midwife and the hospital ahead of time. But I think the biggest factor in ensuring my birth was natural and un-medicated was that I labored at home as long as I possibly could. I was 7 cm by the time my husband and I got to the hospital so I really believe that helped a lot. I have to credit my husband for keeping me home so long though, because as I was screaming that I wanted to go to the hospital, he was telling me that my contractions were still 7 minutes apart when they were in fact 3. If I would have known that then I may have strangled him, but I’m grateful for it now, as I look back on what may have been. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant and planning a home birth for our next little one. Not because the hospital experience was bad, but because I don’t want to be separated from my husband or daughter for any amount of time and I now have the confidence in my body’s ability to give birth naturally that I didn’t have before.
I had a natural (no pain medication) birth in a hospital setting via induction. The reason for the induction was my husband being assigned to work in another state for the summer, and me being alone with my 18-month-old and needing to plan for childcare and for him to make it to the birth. We waited until my cervix was ripe to give the best possible odds for success.
Because it was an induction, I did need an IV for pitocen. And I did sign a waiver for an epidural (at my request, in case things got too much for me), but no one ever offered pain medication.
I delivered with a midwife, and that was the key. She was excellent – suggested laboring on a birthing ball, would rub my back between contractions, helped me into the shower at one point just to kill some time when the contractions were very intense. When I did finally ask for pain medication, she was very realistic with me about how long it would be until I could push, and kept me focused on my goal of avoiding medication. That support was key for me.
She also taught me to trust my body. I was waiting to “be checked” and have the stirrups assembled, etc from my experience with an OB the first time. Instead, she kept me on the birthing ball until my body started pushing, then I jumped into the bed and delivered laying on my side. No stirrups, no spotlights, no cervical checks.
It was a fabulous and amazing experience. My only issue was that my son had low blood sugar and was in the NICU for three days, which seemed totally unnecessary. That was out of my control and out of my midwife’s control, though. We just had to ride it out until the NICU would release him.
i don’t know a hospital around that will let you eat during labor. and i’d definitely say to get a doula. i wanted a natural birth so much. my husband knew this and so did my doctor and the rest of the staff. still they continually offered me pain medication, epidural and pitocin. in my distress, after hours of a stall labor, i wasn’t in the mindframe to uphold my own wishes and i caved to doctor’s suggestions that my labor would not progress without them. (my hubby wasn’t strong at that point either). the key is having someone there who can speak for you when you can’t.
I had an epidural, but that was because it was what I wanted. I knew I wanted to have a vaginal birth, but I was scared because of some hip problems and my own lack of pain tolerance. I had a great day with an awesome nurse and doctor. Aside from my epi, everything was laid back, I spent time with family before and after the birth, my daughter did great at her first nursing (although it was the only time…..) and I would do it that way again. I hate that some people look down on you for getting an epidural, or look down on you for not. The point is to have a baby and have it the way you wanted that was right for you and your family.
I had a natural birth in a hospital setting and was amazed at how smoothly everything went. I had gone in fully expecting to have to fight for everything I wanted, but instead found L&D nurses who were practically ecstatic over getting to be involved in a natural birth and did everything they could to encourage that. None of my requests were denied, nothing was done unnecessarily, no drugs or interventions were offered or pushed on me, I had a wonderful warm jacuzzi filled for me to labour in, and overall I was very surprised and happy with how things went.
That said, I had reviewed every detail of my birth plan with my doctor ahead of time, and I had thoroughly discussed things with my husband so that he could help advocate for me while I concentrated on labour. I was also fortunate to have a very supportive L&D staff – and I recognize that may not be the case next time. I have yet to decide whether I’ll go with a hospital birth, a birth center, or a homebirth next time – but, as my husband reminded me recently, I should probably just focus on getting pregnant first.
I would like to add one note: I love the natural birth trend, but as a physician, I made sure that the hospital I chose had a level four nursery, and was capable of handling any neonatal emergencies. No amount of convenience and loving delivery is worth risking your baby’s life.
@ The Mother – That is one of the complicated reasons for choosing the hospital that I did. I had an opportunity to birth with a midwife at a birthing center that is right around the corner from another hospital. However, a friend of mine that gave birth at that hospital and had complications ended up with her baby being transferred to a different hospital while she had to stay there. The possibility of that separation scared me so much that I chose to go to a hospital that I knew would be able to handle any complication that could arise for me or my baby.
Those are excellent questions and a few of those I had on my list for when I had planned a hospital birth (esp. 8,9, and 10). I ended up having home births for all my children, but I do know of several friends who wanted natural births at a hospital, and they unfortunately didn’t get their wishes. On the other hand, I have another close friend who just recently had a baby at the Montfort with her midwife, and it was a natural birth where she felt very empowered and supported by the entire hospital staff. I agree that a detailed birth plan is key.
We had a long struggle with our first birth and ended up having a emergency c-section. I am classed as a high risk…but only in some peoples eyes.
I had been terrorized by the OB and was so fearful of giving birth. My midwife was young and fearful too. We started in a birth centre and ended up in hospital. I have to say the hospital was pretty cool with us right up until the end…then everyone started getting angry at each other…sigh.
I had been leaning again towards a birth centre but am now starting to think that maybe starting in hospital with support there if my midwife needs it would be a better idea…I don’t know.
We are going for natural and are doing hypnobirth classes.
I felt I was educated last time…but even more this time
I’ve been reading the Immaculate Deception II by Suzanne Arms (I didn’t really read any birth books last time) which has really opened my eyes on birth and even my husband who ‘tries’ to read some books I pass his way is saying that it’s a really good book.
I better make up my mind as I’m 30 weeks but its great to hear of good natural births in hospital…for me its all about fear in how well its going to go…the more fear the less work is being done on getting the baby out.
Our first son was born in hospital, here in the UK. My wife had wanted a midwife-led centre, but because Baby was overdue, it had to be the hospital. It was an ‘easy’ natural birth, with a midwife, who afterwards said, “You did very well. Next time why not have a homebirth?!”
So we did. Twice (The second was a water birth too). And they were great.
*You* get to decide on who is allowed in the room, whether you eat, drink, and move about. You know what the rooms are like, and what you’ll be wearing. And unless you give birth in a stable, there are no stirrups in sight.
And, on top of that, you get to sleep and feed in your own bed with your baby and his dad from day one.
The things that I wished were different about our birth are, thankfully, related to our decisions and not those imposed on us by the hospital. For a small town with limited choices, we are very lucky to have a wonderful OB and wonderful birthing center (and friends have told me the one 20 minutes away is top-notch as well). HOWEVER (and this is a BIG HOWEVER) the question I never see on any lists that I would have loved to know ahead of time is:
If I plan to breastfeed is there a Lactation Consultant available 24 hour a day?
Our hospital had a wonderful LC (two actually) and we breezed through the first afternoon, first night, and second day. However, around 6 P.M., the Munchkin started cluster feeding voraciously and screaming when not latched on. That remains one of the most miserable nights in our lives as parents. The nurses on duty, while very sweet, could only make offers of taking her from us. As soon as the LC arrived in the morning, she came in and helped us and the world was right again
I know of another person at a different hospital with a similar experience in which the nurse came with the supplemental feeding kit for nursing moms but did not know how to use it. I think that having a LC on all night would be very valuable OR at minimum have a “breastfeeding at the hospital” class (akin to L&D classes).
Perhaps I have a biased view because our labor was quick and we had an accomodating hospital during labor, but birth plans sometimes fly out the window and in the end you can recover as long as baby and mom are healthy and safe–but the real “knitty gritty” comes afterwards. Even my husband asked during that night if we should be supplementing her because we were both desperate to do our best for her.
Thanks so much for sharing this. My hospital birth was terrible, horrible, god awful. Induced, labor for 39 hours, all kinds of interventions, and to add insult to injury it ended with a c-section.
Next time around I am DETERMINED to have a natural birth and I think these questions are very helpful. Now that I know more I will be going to the next state to deliver (KY has one of, if not the highest c-sec rate in the country, almost 40% I think).
If possible, I would add having someone there (partner, friend, mom) who has gone over the Q&A with you and is ready to fight tooth and nail to have your choices honored. With my first child I was so scared, overwhelmed, and eventually in so much pain (I went the first 20-24 hours no meds) that I was in poor shape to make decisions and fight hard.
Thanks for sharing!
Great post! I am so glad we made the decision to have Owen at home, but I know it’s not for everyone, and I know not everyone has access to the wonderful care of midwives (Hey! Ontario Government! We need more midwives!), so it’s great that you’ve put this together. I get SO FRUSTRATED with the unnecessary interventions I hear about when some of my friends talk of their births. I also hear stories about great OBs and lovely natural hospital births. I hope that we are moving towards a world where all women can be informed and in control of their choices about their bodies and their births, regardless of where they choose to give birth, and that interventions are only what they were ever meant to be – life-saving procedures, used when appropriate and necessary.
Thanks for giving women a concrete tool for empowerment!
I had a fast, easy, painless birth at a major NYC teaching hospital. I had no medication whatsoever. This was because I arrived at the hospital fully dilated- I almost had my baby in the taxi on the way there! I think we waited too long, but my labor (first child) went extremely, unexpectedly quickly. My tips:
1. choose a good OBGYN who will let you have a natural birth if there are no complications. (I swiched doctors at 33 weeks)
2.get a Doula!
3. Wait until you are almost fully dilated to go to hospital. I was at the hospital for only 20 minutes before my son was born.
4. Make sure your OBGYN encourages latch on right after delivery.
5, make sure your OBGYN will let you have your baby on your chest for a long time after birth if there are no complications.
I didn’t have a birth plan, I just told my (new!) OBGYN what I wanted and she listened.
I had a great experience in a hospital with a 94% epidural rate!
Julia, which hospital was it? I am 18 weeks pregnant, this is my 2nd baby, we live in NYC and are trying to find a good hospital and OBGYN that will support our wish to have a natural birth…
Can I ask who your OB is? And what hospital you delivered? I’m looking for this kind of experience and am having a hard time finding someone to support these wishes. Thanks.
My hospital: NY Presbyterian at 68th and York in Manhattan
OBGYN: Dr. Lauren Feit
I did.
It didn’t occur to me to ask my hospital or doctor any of those things. With one hospital and a huge shortage of doctors in the town I was living in at the time I just kind of took what I got.
I wanted a natural birth and for the most part I got exactly what I had pictured in my mind. The only thing I hadn’t planned on was being induced. (Not the drip though)
The nurses and the doctors immediately tried to push any and every kind of drugs on me. They intimidated me by telling me (without checking me at all) that I was going to be in labour for daaays (it hadn’t even started yet).
My hospital experience itself was ridiculously terrible. I would never give birth there again. Never. The nurses and staff were rude and neglectful (they induced me and then didn’t come in and actually check me to see if I was going into labour until I told them I had to push almost 10 hours later and when I DID tell them that they told me I didn’t know what I was talking about and I couldn’t possibly have to push, and to stop making my body push *rolls eyes*. They forgot to bring meals to me and didn’t bathe my son after birth until the day before we left the hospital. Told me that I didn’t know anything because I was young, single and a first-time mother. Even though my doctors said it was okay to discharge me the nurses refused to, specifying that it was because I was single *sigh* They belittled me for not only wanting to breastfeed but for trying it without their “supervision” while I was walking around looking for something and only stopped once they saw that he’d latched on no problem and was eating just fine.)
My actual birth and my doctor were fantastic.
No drugs, just massage, walking, breathing, the bathtub.
I went into labour at 2:20 and he was born at 5:08 — although it probably would have been sooner if the nurses had actually believed me… lol I had no tearing at all. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better birth!
I think I fared pretty well considering just how insistent the staff at that hospital were about drugs.
They even tried to make me take painkillers afterwards — after recovery and settling into my room — and I still have no idea why! I mean, I was sore, obviously but I was not in any amount of pain that required pain killers.
I would LOVE to try a home birth for the next one!
Sorry about the long comment — it’s just a topic that sets me off on a rant!
I guess I should add that the main reason that I didn’t want an epidural was because I have a huge fear of needles!
A silly reason, I know lol
But it was a decision that encouraged me to do it completely naturally and drug free!
“In the event that you cannot have the perfect birth environment or that something goes differently than planned, you should also consider what you are willing to compromise on and what you would dig your heels in about.”
This is one of my biggest objections to birthing in the hospital, and why I think natural childbirth in the hospital is not possible. It should not be required to make concessions on your own labor and delivery. If you have to write up a birth plan in order to avoid being taken advantage of, you are in the wrong place. Also, if you have to “compromise” or “dig your heels in” about anything, you can’t possibly have birth as nature intended. Maybe drug-free, but not unhindered, by a long shot.
Yeah, I would totally agree with you normally, as I had my first three children at home. But there are situations when people may just not have the choices to have a homebirth (either due to money, availability, etc). I’m out of the country now and am stuck having to go to a hospital and can only make the best out of it I can. So, you can’t always be so judgemental and hard on some people because they may have no other choice.
Get a doula! Get a doula! Get a doula! I had a pain-med free birth and the hospital, and overall, it went well. But they insisted on things that weren’t necessary, like constant monitoring, which just made it a pain to get out of bed. The biggest reason I’m going for a home birth this (the third time) is that my doctor “induced” the first two because I started dilating at around 36 weeks. I’ve since learned that there are many women (including my mother) who dilate early. While the hospital staff were supportive of the idea of natural birth, in practice, they still have this idea in their heads about what should be happening, and they kind of inadvertently use scare tactics on you, especially for a first time mom. I was really glad that I had my friend who was a doula there to keep me grounded and willing to fight.
My husband and I planned a homebirth. However, after 44 hours of labor (my water broke when labor started & I started with a bang – contractions every 4 minutes, lasting 45 seconds each), my midwife said I had been stuck at 7 cm for a while & needed to go to the hospital. After a 10 minute drive to the hospital, I was complete & started pushing about 20 minutes after we arrived. I had a completely natural birth at the hospital because the doctors had no choice. They were a little peeved at me though because I live in a state where if prenatal care is not given by a doctor, it is considered not having prenatal care at all. So despite excellent prenatal care from my midwife, my records state that I had no prenatal care whatsoever. For that reason, the doctors wanted to give me IV antibiotics during labor, but it was too late, which I was grateful for. They also respected my wishes about placing the baby directly on my stomach after birth, delayed cutting of the cord, no shots for the baby, etc. And all that from a little piece of torn paper we had desperately scribbled our wishes on when we learned we’d have to transfer. Next time I know I will labor at home as long as possible – I’m almost positive that’s the only thing that saved me from an unnecessary C-section with my first birth.
I had a drug-free, natural childbirth in a hospital in Washington, DC known for one of the nation’s highest c-section producers. I strongly believe that a woman’s ability to have a natural childbirth is equal to her determination to get one and her willingness to self-educate and her wise choice of provider. I also felt most comfortable in a hospital, but didn’t want to deal with the interventions. I went through three different OB’s until I found the right one, who answered my initial questions about “what would you do in this scenario? in that scenario?” in a way that made me feel confident in his judgment and in him as a partner in my birth. (Why go the hospital route if you don’t trust your doctor to intervene if it really IS necessary? the key is to make sure you understand when your doc is likely to intervene and how you feel about that ahead of time).
When my water broke with no contractions in sight and some very heavy bleeding, I had to go to the hospital earlier than I wanted and it seemed like my plans were on their head (I”d planned to labor at home as long as possible). There were some rules I followed because I didn’t care not to (I allowed intermittent external monitoring because it did not bother me) but there were some rules I flagrantly flouted (I ate peanut butter and honey sandwiches throughout to keep my strength up, despite a very stern admonition from a nurse not to eat). My doctor was high touch and came to check on me three times (he’s a single practitioner) during my pre-labor. My labor was hard work (baby was face up and I was only able to turn him to face my thigh) but it was rewarding. Both my OB and the second nurse (much nicer than the first!) who attended me said our birth was one of the most beautiful they’d seen. I didn’t have a doula, because I knew I wouldn’t want another body in the room. In fact, knowing myself and what I might want for a variety of different scenarios (plan A, plan B, plan c…and so on) was the key for me.
Expect to fight an uphill battle at a time when you are least able to marshal your thoughts. Be prepared for nurses and docs to roll their eyes at you, and don’t be afraid to be the “difficult patient.” If you are squeamish about making yourself “difficult” they will walk all over you, all the while assuring you it’s for your own good.
Sorry, I know there are friendly practitioners out there, but if you go in just hoping for doors to swing wide open, you’re likely to find yourself sorely disappointed.
My first was born the standard hospital way. I was 23 at the time, and just went along with whatever the staff wanted.
Induction after pinhole leak, epidural, etc; I came within an hour of having a “required” C-section, which would have been stupidly pointless. Especially for a first baby! Why on earth do docs not take into account the likelihood of a young mom’s subsequent pregnancies when making “by the book” decisions about her first baby?
Second was a homebirth with lay midwives. The most perfectly astonishing experience of my entire life. Changed my entire outlook on birth, which is what HB advocates always SAY, but it’s hard to believe how different it is till you’ve been there.
Due to insurance issues, my third was born in hospital, and while you’d think I would have been a pretty good self-advocate, I was amazed by how powerless I felt to fight “support staff” during labor. Even really dumb things like refusing continuous EFM were this huge uphill battle.
And this was with a CNM! Freakin ridiculous. (she did finally “compromise” on a telemetry unit and a hep lock, but c’mon. She talked like she was doing me a HUGE favor.)
My fourth will be another hospital birth, due again to insurance issues and lack of local MW availability. Sigh. We’re talking military hospital, 90 plus percent epidural rate, 40 percent C-section rate. helloo?? I know a lot of the ladies ’round my local area really WANT the whole medical model shebang, but they also can’t understand how their environment affects their ability to handle “natural” childbirth.
I never understood the Laura Shanleys of the world till I found myself in THIS pickle.
Why do I always hear that natural birthing is a “trend”…It never was a trend it’s always been around we are the only country with heavy medicated births and scheduled C-sections. I am currently pregnant and plan on having a natural birth I just hope the military hospital I go to agrees with my plan or I will be a very stubborn patient lol.
oops forgot to say I had a friend who I knew who got an epidural and it paralyzed her from the waist down for life. My great grandmother, my grandmother had a natural birth my mom did and so will I