In November, Michelle Hickman was harassed and humiliated by Target staff for breastfeeding her baby in one of their stores in Houston, Texas. Yesterday, breastfeeding moms across the United States (and even a few in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada), headed out to Target stores for a nurse-in. In the end, there were moms at more than 100 different Target locations and the participation ranged from one mom and baby pair, all the way up to 40+ moms with babies. Some were nursing one baby, some were tandem nursing an infant and a toddler, and some were former nursing moms or partners of nursing moms who came out to support them.
Here is a video that I put together with photos from some of the nurse-in locations set to music from Moorea Malatt’s “Whip It Out: Songs for Breastfeeding”.
Here are some pictures of some of my blogging friends at the nurse-ins. On the left is Heather from The Bee In Your Bonnet tandem nursing and on the right is Amanda from Mommies Are Light nursing her newborn.
Was the nurse-in a success? That depends. It did bring out a lot of moms and babies and got a lot of media coverage about the rights of breastfeeding mothers. That is certainly positive. However, Target’s breastfeeding policy still leaves a lot to be desired. In particular, the requirement for moms to be “discreet” (Why? By whose definition? What about the not-so-discreet pictures of women in their underwear hanging up in the stores?), when we know that whether and how much to cover should be up to each mom. Read Heather’s great post on the problems with the policy for more detail. Also, Target still hasn’t apologized directly to Hickman for the treatment that she received.
Ultimately, I think that we need more moms and babies breastfeeding in public, including at Target, every single day. We also need more moms breastfeeding on television, in movies, in magazines, and on websites. Once that happens, breastfeeding in public won’t be a big deal or something that people need to be educated about, because it will simply be regarded as normal.
Congratulations to all the Target Nurse-In moms for taking a stand and being part of the positive normalization of breastfeeding.
P.S. To those who are wondering what happened to the Carnival of Toddlers, it will be continuing soon with posts on sleep, discipline, fun and more.
{ 53 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you, this brought happy tears to my eyes <3
What a beautiful video, thank you so much for putting that together.
Big thanks to also to all of the moms who went out and stood up for breastfeeding! (love)
You did a beautiful job with this video. I was at the nurse-in yesterday, but I forgot my camera. What an experience though! I am so proud to have been a small part of this movement.
I think Target better get the message! Breastfeeding is the most natural gift in the world. Shame on you! The people in Houston should be fired!
I nurse when and where my baby needs to eat. To my 4 yr old son it’s normal. What’s not normal for him is seeing people walking around showing a lot of skin. He doesn’t like men to go topless any more than women to be showing a lot. To him, they’re naked. I hadn’t quite figured that out when we were shopping at Target, “mommy, they’re naked.” He was referring to the pictures all over the wall of girls in bikinis. So until Target only uses discreet advertising, I will nurse how my baby and I are comfortable.
Yes, that’s because your four year old is four. You see, people who don’t still eat happy meals know the difference between a bare breast and a bikini top.
I dont think she was talking about breast feeding her four yr old. I think she meant her four yr old thinks nothing of her nursing his baby sibling but notices the half naked ads for underwear/bras.
Also for the love of god, your kid is almost old enough to make a sandwich. Cut the cord lady.
Great job, Annie! Love it, and the song!
Steph
Loved the “snacks in a second” on the wall in one shot! Well done nursing mamas
I needed to read this. Just finished reading the depressing, ignorant comments on the apology of Nascar driver Kasey Kahne for tweeting disparagingly about a mother breastfeeding in a grocery store. So much work to do before NIP becomes an unremarkable part of our society.
Beautiful video, Annie. It warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes. There is nothing like seeing a bunch of loving mothers feed their children.
Fantastic video! Hopefully Target will step up and change their policy (and educate their staff). I hope this also happens when they move here to Canada.
Thank you for posting this! I like to think of myself as a breastfeeding warrior every time I feed my daughter in public.
Jenna
callherhappy.com
If I had known about this, I would have been there! My daughter is 34 months and I haven’t been able to nurse her in over 18 months – I would have longer if the supply had held up. I did it all across town and in every store without once covering up – and the only kind of weird response came from a friend who seemingly was worried about her boyfriend.
I’m not impressed with Target’s family-friendliness at all. My husband was so pissed about them not having a changing table in the men’s room OR the FAMILY restroom (and their rude response to his request) that he changed our son’s diaper on the checkout aisle. It’s amazing how fast a manager will come and see what the problem is when you start doing that in the middle of the day. And six months and emails to corporate later, they still don’t have changing tables out where fathers can use them.
Your husband should have respect for men not wanting to see a changing table in a restroom. It’s your right to change him but they’re right to my have to see it! Jeez, stop rubbing it in everyone’s face that your baby poops/pees. ..Wow, it was hard to be that ignorant. The anti-NIPers work really hard to act the same way.
My husband also hates it when there’s no changing table in the men’s room. What kind of assumptions go into that kind of design?
i get so angry when anyone suggests moms not nurse in whatever way they feel comfortable… its a breast people… this is what its for. when they start asking young braless girls is see through tank tops and shorts so short i can see their butt cheeks to leave, then maybe they will have their priorities straight. i personally nursed mostly uncovered (my son did not like to eat under a blanket imagine that) and was pleased to encounter no more than a strange look from time to time. i remember walking through fry’s on black friday nursing my son while we shopped.
Yeah, I feel the same when people suggest I not just piss anywhere I feel comfortable… It’s a dick people… that’s what its for.
contrary to common belief a breast is not genetalia. it has no function in actual reproduction. if men with breasts larger than mine can go shirtless in public, then my kid can eat where and when he wants. there is a reason why public urination is illegal and public breastfeeding is not. oh, and by the way, you may be shocked it is actually called a penis.
Yes, let’s promote the normalization of breast feeding, and while were at it let’s promote the normalization of sex. Both are healthy and natural. I propose we stage a Target fuck-in to promote healthy sexual views. No need to be discreet with something so natural and healthy, right!?
Also expelling digestive byproduct is healthy and normal, so I would also like to propose a Target shit-in. Why should I have to interrupt my shopping to drop a healthy natural log in the bathroom where it won’t bother anyone? From now on I’m just going to drop my pants in the dvd aisle and cut some dookie.
Really? Equating feeding a baby with defecating is nothing new. Why don’t you come back with something original. In the mean time, our babies will keep eating out in the open just like the rest of the population.
No I’m not equating it with feeding your baby, I’m equating it with you feeling that you have the right to expose yourself in public just because something is natural. Go into the bathroom, go out to your car, use a breast pump. There are many other more considerate options you can exercise rather than exposing yourself in public because you have some sort of entitled Madonna complex. If everyone has to go into the bathroom to do their business so can you.
You eat in the bathroom? Do you know how much fecal mist you are getting on your food?
Oh please. You see more breast from teenagers in scanty tops than you do with a mother breastfeeding. I find it disgusting that so many men scratch their balls in public, but they do it discreetly as they can – you tolerate it and move on.
Grow up.
Wow… i am acctually surprised by how ignorant men are.. and yes i say men because i do not see ONE ignorant comment from a woman! This has nothing to do with you being uncomfortable with seeing a breast, because we all know if a woman walked around topless men would be very happy indeed. It is the fact that you are uncomfortable seeing it being used as it is SUPPOSED to and not just for YOUR sexual pleasure! Grow up and stop being so narsasistic!
I would like to take my comment about there not being nay ignorant comments from women. That is wrong… some women are just as ignorant!
Gerry, you may not have noticed, but we’re talking about breasts, which are different from penises, vaginas, and anuses. I strongly recommend that you Google “human anatomy.”
Brought tears to my eyes watching all you mamas contribute in this way! I couldn’t do what you did, as my children already weaned themselves (at 4.5 and 7.5 years). Every bit of awareness you bring is helping countless children enjoy the benefits of breastfeeding that much longer.
your site talks about “parental attachment” and breastfeeding your children up til age SEVEN?! I have full memories from that age. I am SO glad my mothers’ breast is not one of them. A seven year old boy will probably be having sexual relationships within ten years.. Shouldn’t there be a little more time between breastfeeding and breasts as objects of sexual desire? Though with all your talk of parental and familial attachment, it seems like you are trying to cement a neediness in your children, that I doubt very much results in a normal, well adjusted child with healthy relationships with peers. This seems like it’s more about YOUR needs to be needed, than your childs’ health.
Do you remember kissing your parents on the mouth? Was it sexual? Breastfeeding is nutrition, but it is also comfort. Kissing can be sexual, or it can not be. Breasts are objects of sexual desire in some countries, but in others they are just another body part. Some children have sex at 11 or 12; should we stop nursing at one or 2 just in case they have sex early?
Contrary to what people seem to think, moms do not engage in extended nursing for their own needs. If the child said no, the mom wouldn’t continue. Some children continue to choose it as a method of comfort.
I see the troll(s) are out already
I guess that’s an indication that this issue is getting the kind of attention from everyone that it needs! Good for all you moms…truly a victory for EVERYONE who doesn’t eat in a bathroom stall (which I assume the trolls do?)
Truly a victory for inconsiderate, entitled women everywhere! Use a breast pump for when you’re in public, no one wants to see your mommybags.
Definition of a troll – see above.
I guarantee people would be a lot more offended if I strapped my pump on at Target. And you’d see my breasts then – you don’t when my 2 year old nurses.
Actually, I think pumping in public would raise more eyebrows than just nursing the baby.
Yeah, nothing like the “wheeze-wheeze” of a pump and a giant piece of plastic attached to a boob to draw attention.
And the trolls…*yawn* Same old tired, ignorant arguments. Seriously, we (breastfeeding mothers) have heard them all before. Not gonna stop us from caring for our babies when and where THEY need it.
Interestingly, there is actually a YouTube video (popped up as a related video to mine yesterday) of a woman pumping while shopping at Target. I support her right to do so, but I wouldn’t exactly call it discreet. I think me walking around (or sitting down) with a baby attached to my breast was a lot more discreet than wandering around with two plastic flanges hanging off your breast. Here’s the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWDwvqHS7vI
Heh, I like that though. It’s a nice counter argument for all the people who say, “just pump instead”. I think most people don’t know what work goes into pumping compared to just nursing.
@Marie and @Pat… women were among the most voracious opponents of female enfranchisement as well… just because you don’t care about your rights doesn’t mean I should have to give up mine.
Please, no one’s asking you to give up your rights, they are asking you to have common decency and consideration. I have the right to repeatedly scream fuck in public but I don’t because it would make me a jerk. It’s really not that difficult to be discreet about your nursing. Stop acting like this is some sort of oppression. You’re not Rosa Parks hon.
The problem is, Pat, that there’s no single standard for what’s offensive in these instances. Some people are offended if they’re aware that a baby is nursing, some are offended if they see flesh or if they see a nipple. Who gets to decide what qualifies as discrete? The laws don’t take into account the wide spectrum of what may or may not offend people, nor should they have to. You need to accept that the laws are what they are. You may not like it, but they exist to protect mothers and babies. And I’m not sure that you have the right to repeatedly scream ‘fuck’ in public. You might want to look into that before you try it.
“Common decency”? Have the young people on the street should show common decency when they get dressed in the morning. Men who think it’s cool to ogle women and lear should show common decency. NIP is at least serving a function.
*Half
No, you ARE asking us to give up our rights, plain and simple. I have the right to be in public. If I can’t breastfeed in public, that means I can’t go out.
Bring a bottle, you say? I have had 4 babies, and NONE of them would take a bottle from me. Not one.
Here in British Columbia, it is against the law for ANYONE to ask a breastfeeding mother to stop, leave, move or cover up in any place she has the legal right to be. Here, Target would be paying an enormous fine for this.
P.S. I think anyone who would harass a mother BFing her baby has no common decency and consideration. NONE.
PPS. Well, considering women died in Afghanistan for showing their ankles or going out in public — yes, we ARE Rosa Parks for women oppressed in other parts of the wold.
I’m a bf mom and my baby has eaten all over the city but I do it discreetly when at somebody’s private property. Please don’t throw stones at me! Let me put it this way. Yes, it’s my right to munch on snacks at Target but when I go to a boutique store I’m asked to leave my coffee/dog outside. A bouncer can deny your access to a fancy dance club and once you are in and have spent money you can be escorted out without a reason. People screaming at each other at the restaurant would be warned by a waiter but parents of a fussy baby can’t be reprimanded because “it’s just a baby”. I saw a sign on a small grocery store: “we do not serve students on a school day”.
Again, I’m all for NIP as it creates awareness and we do need to see more bf moms but please somebody walk me through this
The language in many laws protecting a woman’s right to breastfeed in public states that a mother may nurse her baby anywhere that she and her baby otherwise have a right to be. That means if they have a right to be in Target, or the boutique store, or the restaurant, then they have a right to nurse there. The kind of behavior that might get someone kicked out of a bar or restaurant is disruptive behavior. Breastfeeding in public is not inherently disruptive.
Given that it’s considered a human rights violation to ask a woman to cover up when she’s breastfeeding, how can a company get away with effectively saying that in official policy? Can’t they be charged over the policy just as much as over an employee saying something?
Nice video. And I love the concept of songs for breastfeeding. When my older son, who loved to nurse, was a toddler, I used to sing him a song I had composed (called “the other side”) and he would sing along
Hi Annie,
Would I be able to post your video (crediting and linking you, of course) on my blog as part of a post about the nurse-in? I attended my local one but was all alone and had no one to take a good pic to post.
If breasts are sexual, than what about mouths and hands? Hmm, sucking on a nipple during sex seems less dirty/gross than oral foreplay or whatever the imagination can do with hands. I say, people better cover up their mouths and hands in public! Get those immodest body parts away from my innocent children! Eat in the bathroom! So no, this is not about exposing flesh, but about exposing specific flesh, which means she is sexualizing/objectifying the breasts of females.
Breasts are at the most a secondary, erogenous aspect to sexual foreplay. They do not play a necessary or absolute part in conception. Some women do not even want their breasts touched during sexual behaviors.
But let’s look at some other parts of the body.
The mouth is frequently used for sexual purposes. The mouth is used for kissing, for genital stimulation and even oral sex. No one covers their mouths in public, at least in this country. Most people use their mouths during any pre-sexual or sexual encounter.
The hands are frequently used for sexual purposes. Hands are used to caress, for stimulation and even for digital sex. No one covers their hands in public, at least in this country. Most people use their hands during any pre-sexual or sexual encounter. In fact, hands are arguably a necessary part of most sexual behaviors, as it would be exceedingly difficult to perform sex acts without them.
So I find it amusing that a woman wants to stop other women from a non-sexual use of their body part: breastfeeding. But is not consistent in other areas. I say, cover up your nasty, obscene mouths, sucking on genitals, then talking to my children in broad daylight? Disgusting! Doing who knows what with your dirty hands, then shaking my daughter’s hand or rubbing my son’s head? Absolutely offensive. Cover up. Stop being immodest.
Stop being hypocrites and deal with your own issues. Leave others alone to care for their children.”"
(and of course, I hope everyone knows I am being tongue in cheek here. I have no issue with the concept of our bodies performing multiple purposes).
ALSO..
Women should cover up their bottles when they are feeding their babies…
I wasn’t exposed to bottle-feeding much growing up and seeing it makes me very uncomfortable. I mean if you think about it, a bottle is a substitute for the breast, and since breasts are sexual, doesn’t that make a bottle kind of like a dildo?! Eww, gross.
When I see a mom bottle-feeding, I don’t know where to look. I can’t look directly at the bottle or the baby because the idea of feeding a baby formula makes me sick to my stomach. It’s just gross. And the way babies sound when they eat??? They slurp and suck and dribble formula everywhere! It’s just nasty and it *smells*! I shouldn’t have to see that! And what about my young son? How am I supposed to explain to him why a woman is bottle-feeding? I mean, he’s too young to understand how different parts of the body function. It’s going to be hard to explain to him that women actually choose not to nurse, or can’t for one reason or another. It’ll probably upset him to know that lots of babies don’t get “nurse-nurse” like he does. I don’t want to have to deal with him being emotionally scarred by seeing bottles. And imagine the therapy bills I’ll have to pay for when he’s older!
So bottle-feeding moms should either go into a bathroom, re-lactate so they can use their breasts in public, or cover up with a blanket. Sure, I know the excuses….bathrooms are dirty and no one should have to eat in there. But women could still re-lactate. Oh, yeah I know how hard it would be, but ya know, we DO have nice pumps available nowadays. She could get a good supply going for the sole purpose of feeding in public. If she would just use her breasts, we wouldn’t have to see those indecent bottles all the time. And if she has a hard time re-lactating, she could always just cover up with a blanket when she has to use a bottle. Oh I know some babies aren’t comfortable under a blanket. Re-breathing their own carbon dioxide for 20+ minutes must come at a price, but who cares? At least I wouldn’t have to see bottles.
And if a woman doesn’t want to go through all that trouble, she could just schedule outings around the baby’s feedings. A bottle-fed baby only has to eat, what? Every 3-4 hours? She can just bottle-feed at home, go out, and rush back with a screaming baby if he needs to eat sooner than the schedule allows.
I’ll admit that I’m uncomfortable with bottle-feeding in public. And as an American, I have a right to not have to be exposed to that sort of thing. Women should be aware of everyone else and accomodating to all others. After all, our right not to be offended is more important than a baby’s right to eat, right?
response to a critical reply:
“I turned it around so people could see how ridiculus is is for ANY woman to hide to feed her child. It sounds a bit ridiculous when I say women should cover up their bottles, huh? I hope it makes you think.”
Disclaimer…
Ok, so forgive me for assuming people would see the sarcasm in the post below. I don’t *actually* think women should cover up their bottles. I used all the arguments against nursing in public and turned them around to bottle-feeders in an attempt to show people just how idiotic it is to ask women to hide while feeding their baby.
The point is, breasts are not lewd or indecent. If you see a little nipple, get over it. Breasts are for feeding babies, first and foremost. The day you hide your bottles is the day I hide my breasts.
Also…
I realize the dildo reference may make some people’s jaws drop in disbelief, but that was possibly the most important part of the post. It seems the main reason people freak out about nursing in public is because breasts are also sexual, therefore should be covered all the times. Well, a nipple on a bottle was designed to replace the original thing, just like a dildo is meant to replace a penis. Sorry, but it’s true. If it sounds outlandish to you, then maybe you should reconsider just how sexual the breast is. It’s not sexual to feed a child at the breast any more than it is to feed a child with a bottle.
IF (and that’s a big “if”) nursing WERE sexual, then I would assume people would have the same reaction to a bottle as they would to a dildo. But they don’t. It’s something to think about anyways.
Awesome. Absolutely awesome.
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