In her article The Case Against Breastfeeding in The Atlantic, Hanna Rosin attacks breastfeeding from both a scientific and feminist perspective. I plan to respond to both of them, but the scientific one will take more research and I may only get to it next month (Here it is: The Scientific Benefits of Breastfeeding). However, the feminist one is much easier to address. In summary, Rosin questions whether breastfeeding is right for every family or whether it is “this generation’s vacuum cleaner – an instrument of misery that mostly just keeps women down“. While I can concede that breastfeeding is not right for every woman or every family, I don’t see it as an instrument of misery that keeps women down. Here is why…
Rosin argues that women bear the strain of making breastfeeding work and that this exposes the ideal of an equal marriage, with two parents happily taking turns working and raising children, as a farce. She also explains that being stuck at home breastfeeding as he walked out the door for work just made her unreasonably furious at him and everyone else.
Did Rosin and her husband forget to have a conversation about how they were going to achieve an equal marriage? Because it seems she assumed that was just going to magically happen while he assumed she would be the primary caregiver. If she was furious at him, that’s fine. But that says more about their relationship dynamics than it does about breastfeeding. Was she asking for him to make an equivalent contribution? Or was she just hoping to be equally uninvolved in her child’s life?
Rosin talks about a Babytalk story that calls breastfeeding induced “maternal nirvana” and goes on to explain that with her third child, nirvana did not describe her state of mind. She was launching a new Web site and had to other children to care for and a husband she would occasionally like to talk to.
First, I guess I missed the breastfeeding class where they said that you are not allowed to talk while breastfeeding because I found it an awful lot easier to have conversations with people while breastfeeding than I do when trying to chase a toddler and listen to a preschooler. Second, I’m not sure how formula feeding would make it easier to find time to speak with her husband. Presumably, if she isn’t feeding the baby, he is and therefore he must be in the baby feeding cone of silence and not able to talk to her.
In terms of having two other children to take care of, mastering the art of nursing in a sling was key for me. My son and I didn’t let the baby or her need to breastfeed stop us from doing anything that we wanted to do during the summer that I was on maternity leave. In fact, we felt lucky to not be saddled with the responsibility of always ensuring we had enough bottles with us, finding a place to warm those bottles up, and rushing home if we ran out.
With regards to launching her Web site, I was able to work easily at my computer with a sleeping or nursing baby on a boppy pillow, in a sling, or laying next to me. When I did go back to the office, as a senior white collar professional (like Rosin), I had access to a closed office and could easily pump hands-free in my office while working. If such as space had not been available to me, I am a strong enough woman and feminist that I wouldn’t have been embarrassed to ask for it. I also pumped countless times in my car when I was rushing to and from various meetings and in a pinch took a 5 minute bathroom break to pump off the edge with a manual pump. It is not the all consuming huge problem that Rosin makes it out to be. As a feminist, I consider it my right to work. As a feminist mother, I consider it my right to insist on conditions that allow me to pump for my baby.
Rosin says that recently she and her husband noticed that they had reached an age at which friends from high school now hold positions of serious power, but they had to work hard to find any women on that list and she wonders why they disappeared during they years they had small children.
I wonder, did they all breastfeed? Or were the women that chose formula just as disadvantaged? I think this speaks more to society’s expectation that the mom be the one to stay home than it does about breastfeeding versus formula feeding. I would also question whether “positions of serious power” is necessarily what all women want. I want to be successful in my career, I want to provide for my family, but I have personally left and turned down several positions of power because it wasn’t the type of career I wanted. I wanted one where I was independent and flexible because I think that provides for a much better quality of life for me and for my family.
She also says that breastfeeding exclusively is not like taking a prenatal vitamin. It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way. She goes on to explain that when people say breastfeeding is free, she wants to hit them with a two-by-four and that it is only free if a woman’s time is worth nothing.
Again, she is making huge assumptions here. First, I managed to breastfeed exclusively and work in a meaningful way. I took 3 months of leave with my son and 6 months of leave with my daughter, but I continued pumping at work until my son was 12 months old and until my daughter was 18 months old. But I never stopped work to do so. I just hooked myself up to a hands-free pump and continued working while I pumped.
Again, in terms of a woman’s time, if she is spending some time breastfeeding then perhaps her husband can take on some other duties that she might otherwise be doing during the time she has to spend breastfeeding. Having an equal marriage doesn’t mean splitting every task equally (he gives one bottle, I give one bottle, he washes one load of diapers, I wash one load of diapers). It means ensuring that things are split evenly overall.
Having children is a serious time commitment. But it is one that can be shared. I breastfed, but other than my short leave my husband is the one staying at home with our kids until they go to preschool at age 3. That is what works for us. It may not be what works for another family. Coming up with something that works for both partners is important, but blaming breastfeeding for preventing women from earning an income is ridiculous.
What about pregnancy Hanna?
In all of this talk about the shackles that come with breastfeeding, Hanna Rosin is shockingly silent about pregnancy. I mean I assume she carried and birthed each of those three children that she has. I know that some women love pregnancy, but I didn’t. It tied me down a lot more than breastfeeding ever did. It meant that I couldn’t drink alcohol for 9 months and I had to cut back on my coffee habit. It meant I had to avoid certain foods because of the indigestion or morning sickness that they caused. It meant that I didn’t sleep well. It meant that I had to wear horribly unflattering clothing and allow my body to get all stretched out. It meant that I had to give up team sports that I love so dearly and replace them with prenatal fitness classes that were not my cup of tea. Where is Rosin when you need her? Why isn’t she fighting the case against pregnancy? Why isn’t she advocating for test tube babies?
There are biological differences between men and women (some pleasant and some unpleasant), but accepting those doesn’t mean accepting inequality. If both parents are committed to making an equal contribution (not an equal lack of contribution) to their child’s life, then there is a way to split things up so that breastfeeding doesn’t become an unfair burden on the mother.
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Love it! I love how all these responses are addressing different aspects of the story. As another blogger pointed out, breastfeeding isn’t even the only area in which a husband can provide help. I am happy as a clam to get up for night feedings if he can take all the poopy diapers.
I also resent her statement that the time a mother spends breastfeeding is “worth nothing.” Well you don’t get paid for it, no, but the emotional and generational dividends are immeasurable.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this response!! Well thought out and put together. Thank you.
As a womyn who went to university to get a degree in Womyn’s Studies and Political Science I take offense to Rosin’s suggestion that breastfeeding isn’t a feminist act. YES IT IS!! I don’t see too many men lining up to do it.
And as for the idea that, while breastfeeding, I will not be able to work in “a meaningful way” adds insult to injury. I have been back at work (this time) since my youngest was 7 weeks old. I have managed to spend time talking ***WITH*** my partner about the roles we will play within the dynamics of our family and we SHARE the parenting responsibilities.
One of the things that we have managed to be able to do — through careful planning and the luck of the kind of work we each do — is avoid putting our children (now 11 and almost 8 ) into childcare settings. We have been able to create schedules that allow one of us to be with them whenever a parent is required.
Once again I have had the misfortune of reading a personal opinion article (and one womyn’s struggle with adjusting to parenthood and her feelings of inadequacy) presented as “fact.” “The Case Against Breastfeeding” isn’t any more FACT than the idea of gnomes living in my front garden. It is just her own personal issue. It read to me as though she didn’t want to allow her feminist side shine through while breastfeeding. Too bad. Think of the teachable moments she must have lost with her children and the lessons they didn’t get to learn.
Thanks again for taking the time to respond to her “rant.”
I haven’t read the article you are responding to (yet) but the idea that breastfeeding is anti-feminist is ludicrous. I will never understand the concept that formula-feeding is easier. The thought of washing bottles, preparing the bottles, making sure I have “one more thing” in the diaper bag – it all tires me out just to think of it. Babies need to be fed, regardless of the method. Feminism was supposed to be about a womun’s right to choose what was best for her, not to be told what is best and expected to follow someone else’s rules. Perhaps breastfeeding would be more appealing to her if all of society revered wimmin in their roles are caregivers of small children and praised the miracle that food, the healthiest of foods, is made in perfectly and easily (usually) in a womun’s breasts. I agree with you that breastfeeding never held me down or stopped me from doing whatever I wanted, no matter how many other children I had. If this author felt so tied down then why did she have three children? That seems odd to me. No reason to get mad at your partner because he doesn’t have milk-making breasts – that is ridiculous. Thank you for posting this response! Look forward to hearing part 2.
I think it’s difficult to say that if she’d just had a conversation about equality in her marriage beforehand that she would’ve been happier with the situation. Sometimes the reality of having a new baby and realising that it is depending solely on YOU for the majority of its needs can be overwhelming and the feelings of resentment crop up unexpectedly. I think Rosin had a point when she said that because women have to feed the babies and nursing is pretty much constant in the first few weeks and months, the other aspects of childcare get passed onto her as well. If your partner only gets one or two weeks off work after the birth (and most of that time is spent observing you breastfeeding, unable to do much besides change nappies and hold), he/she will often become accustomed to letting you take care of most of the baby’s needs. It doesn’t mean they don’t consider the primary caregiver an equal but it’s incredibly easy to fall into the stereotypical roles of the woman taking care of the baby and house and her partner working and giving ‘help’ when possible.
If you haven’t struggled with this issue in your own partnership, count yourself as lucky. For many of us this is a real issue and a valid concern. It’s not as simple as saying “Have a conversation about it.”
As for your second point about how easy it is to work while nursing, I think it’s obvious that not everyone find it as easy as you did, with the nursing cushions and sling feeding, etc… That’s not to say it can’t be done (I do it myself) but a little empathy for women who feel unable or unequipped to do this would go a long way. And, as I’m sure you’re already aware, having a private place and time to pump at work and the confidence to ‘insist’ upon it is a luxury of the middle and upper middle classes. For most women, working isn’t a ‘right’ but alife-or-death necessity. I can easily see why they look at the obstacles and challenges facing them and decide that formula would be easier. I think they would be better served by improvements in rights of nursing mothers at work, nursing in public, etc.. instead of pressure to just keep breastfeeding without addressing their concerns and reservations.
When Rosin said that a woman’s time spent feeding is “worth nothing” I took that more as social commentary on the absence of meaningful value assigned to duties traditionally associated with women, such as feeding and caring for babies, raising children, keeping house and cooking than as an insult. It’s true, isn’t it? Nursing or pumping at work is something our employers have to “put up with” and most women have to take unpaid leave or unpaid breaks to do either.
I do see where you’re coming from Annie, and I think that your criticisms of this article are valid. All I’m saying is that Rosin does raise some points that I think are worth examining if we’re ever going to get breastfeeding rates and acceptance to rise. I’ve written my own blog post about it here http://tinyurl.com/cxanja
Great response. I agree that the scientific response will be more difficult, because, mostly, Rosin got that part right. Although there is at least one good rebuke that comes quickly to mind — she ignored the totality of the scientific research. Yes, the benefits of breastfeeding in many circumstances are marginal, at best. But that marginal benefit is nearly universal over every health consequence studied. And we still don’t really know that much about breast milk or breastfeeding. Plus, her scientific argument of “neutrality” among feeding choices really only applies to those of us in the developed world with the resources necessary to safely feed formula.
The paucity of her scientific argument is why Rosin has to combine her arguments. The marginal benefit of breastfeeding is only not worth it if costs outweigh those benefits, thus her rather dramatically dim view of life as a breastfeeding mother.
As a mom who formula fed her first, let me exclaim — the grass is not greener. Buying and preparing formula, cleaning bottles, waiting for a bottle to warm, always having to remember to pack a bottle before leaving the house — not exactly liberating. Yes, I could share those particular burdens with my husband. But that was the only “benefit.” And its not as if breastfeeding moms cannot similarly share chores with their partners. I know plenty of partners to breastfeeding women who have primary responsibility for the “care and maintenance” of older children while mom is otherwise occupied with a young nursling.
I’m not all that negative about Rosin’s article when I consider it to be one woman’s experience. What saddens me, though, is the need once again to extrapolate one woman’s experience into some sort of universal feminist manifesto. It diminishes all of us to be thought of so narrowly.
@ Kelly: I agree with this: “I’m not all that negative about Rosin’s article when I consider it to be one woman’s experience. What saddens me, though, is the need once again to extrapolate one woman’s experience into some sort of universal feminist manifesto. It diminishes all of us to be thought of so narrowly.” Just because nursing wasn’t right for Rosin in her relationship and her job, doesn’t mean that it is incompatible with feminism. I think with more creativity and cooperation she could probably have made it work, but if she doesn’t want to, that is fine and that is her right and her choice. I just don’t like her projecting that on others anymore than I liked the suggestion that women should stop breastfeeding at 2 weeks if they are having trouble.
@ Noble Savage: I agree that it isn’t as simple as having a conversation. That was a bit tongue in cheek. But I do think that if both partners are committed to equally shared parenting, it is possible. I also don’t think that the blame can be placed solely on breastfeeding if it isn’t possible. I’m a strong advocate for balance over time, not every day. Biology dictates that the mother is the one to carry the baby for 9 months and that the mom is the one to breastfeed, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be balanced out over time by her partner taking on a stronger role in other areas. With regards to workplace rights, I agree that we need to continue to push for stronger rights for mothers in the workplace. To me, that goes without saying, but perhaps I should have said it! I do think that having more women speak up about issues like pumping, rather than hiding in a bathroom to do it or not doing it at all, can help move that agenda forward.
@ Rashel and @ babyREADY: I agree that she obviously has a very narrow definition of feminism
@ Emily: I agree that the emotional and generational dividends are key. A paycheque is not the only thing worth valuing in life.
I think the scientific rebuttal will be more difficult because we know so little about breastmilk. For example, last year it was discovered that breastmilk contains stem cells- but they don’t know why. They’re there, but what purpose do they serve? Immunity? Healing of wounds? Nervous system development? No one knows.
And can you imagine the outrage that would happen if formula companies decided they’d mimic breastmilk to the point of putting stem cells in formula? lol
I absolutely agree with this from @Kelly
“I’m not all that negative about Rosin’s article when I consider it to be one woman’s experience. What saddens me, though, is the need once again to extrapolate one woman’s experience into some sort of universal feminist manifesto. It diminishes all of us to be thought of so narrowly.”
I find that the birth/breastfeeding/parenting world does this quite often when discussing issues. It is like we need to prove that our choices are the feminist ones and in the process we don’t uncover the deeper layers of the issues at hand. I see it on both ‘sides’ of the debate. It isn’t about breastfeeding or not breastfeeding – from a feminist perspective it is about looking at social constructions that set up situations that make it difficult for women to live their lives fully, respectfully and with agency.When we extrapolate our own personal experiences to be the ‘true feminism’ we ignore the complexity of barriers that women face including but not exclusive to sexism – by that I mean racism, classism, ableism, heterosexism etc. It isn’t so much about the choices we make but the context of what surrounds the choices available to us.
I found her article to be completely ridiculous for the many of the reasons you mentioned above. It also amazes me that a woman who breastfeeds her OWN kids and at one point in the article does concede that breast PROBABLY is BEST can write such a horrid article. For me it is as simple as this. Formula is man-made. Nutrients natural to the substance (from milk or soy) have likely been killed when it is processed. Heating kills up to 80% of the vitamins and minerals in any given food product. This means they have to add the nutrients back into the food…just like they do with bottled vitamins. The added nutrients are most likely chemical and synthetic… just like bottled vitamins.
Breastmilk is a LIVING food. Unless it is heated to temps above 118 degrees it still has ALL of its nutrients, enzymes, and anti-bodies. Formula is essentially a DEAD food. Feeding kids a dead food is best for them? REALLY????
This argument is silly. Formula is substandard…end of story. All the scientists in the world couldn’t get together and make an apple but yet they can create baby food equivalent to or better than breastmilk? No way, no day.
To me this whole argument is like the argument around organics. Of course organic better for you. How can food full of chemicals ever be a better choice than organic, chemical free food? But yet there are MANY people that don’t want us to buy organics for whatever reason and they invent these arguments and flawed studies to help people justify their choices.
As for her feminism arguments you put those to rest with simple logic. I never felt more powerful and independent as a woman than when I breastfed. Having bottle fed the first time around I also know that breastfeeding is 300 times more convenient.
The elephant in the room in this article is the workplace. Rosin seems to love the workplace, just as it is, and considers anything that interferes with women’s advancement in the workplace, as it is anti-feminist. But what ought to be obvious is that the problem is not with breastfeeding, but with an idea of work and the workplace, designed by men, for men. Real equality for women is going to require reconsidering our ideas about what the workplace is like, what the working life is like, and what counts as work. Requiring women to act like men (and like last century’s men, at that) in order to be treated like human beings is not a viable solution. I blame the patriarchy.
The way I felt about it was this.
For one, she completely left out any mention of the mother’s lower risk of breast cancer when breastfeeding, but I’m guessing that will be part of the scientific follow up.
And secondly, if her life or her husband means that breast feeding didn’t work for her, or she didn’t like it, or it made her feel tied down, that’s fine. Sometimes it happens, and I would never judge a woman who chooses not to breastfeed for those reasons. You never know what is going on in her head. But if that was the case for her, she should just SAY SO and not blame other women for her problems.
In addition, I found her insinuation that all breastfeeding mothers do it for the status to be incredibly insulting.
I am struck again and again by this thought: why does someone who sees raising children in the most healthy way possible as such a horrendous burden bother to have them at all?
I get frustrated. I get angry, upset, resentful, regretful. But never once do I forget that *I* am the one who brought these people into the world! They are not a pawn in my game of who gets treated more fairly; I’m not keeping a score card. Having children is HARD. VERY FREAKING HARD! They exhaust you, they need you constantly, your time is no longer your own, your body even is no longer your own. If I thought it would be like this for their entire lives, I never would have had them.
Breastfeeding is such a very small piece of the puzzle. Building healthy children is about so much more – and I dare say that children of a mother who sees making these challenging lifestyle choices as outrage-inducing might have more problems than just whether or not to breastfeed.
I am so tired of moms who blame feminism for the lack of equity in the household. Feminism is a theory, how we use that theory is up to us.
Great response! I also felt that pregnancy was more restricting than breastfeeding. I’d take my girl anywhere and whip out my breast when needed. When I was pregnant all of a sudden I seemed to be made of very thin glass. I wasn’t allowed to pick up my then-5yo nephew. Huh? What if I got pregnant again when the baby was 5? Insanity & illogical!
Again, great break down of the argument.
And I work with feminist public health scholars…it’ll be hard to find a feminist case against breast feeding. If I had time, I’d read her article, but alas…
I did go and read the article but I must say that I skipped over her scientific discoveries. There is conflicting evidence no matter what is being studied and I can never take seriously research that claims that natural, normal foods are inferior or that manufactured foods are “just as good”. It seems like this person has a much deeper issue here, that is wholly a personal one she needs do to some inner work on. She complains and yet she cannot stop breastfeeding. She is missing the part that makes breastfeeding enjoyable for mother, the benefits she is getting. Making breastfeeding a trendy act for white, high-income earners may be what she sees in her own life but is not what makes breastfeeding important. I think this womun needs to look into her own issues and insecurities before declaring that breastfeeding is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Wow. Her comments make me feel worthless. Why is it women feel they have to attack other women? I never was going to be a high powered corporate woman. I do not believe the in corporate way of life. I am a buy local, eat fresh, live simple kind of woman. My job as a mother is amazing. I do not get paid for it but I love it more than I ever thought I would. I believe in equal rights for all. So when there is a stay at home dad I am all supportive. I nurse my babies because I am a Woman and I have the SUPER POWER to do so. My husband totally had more household, childcare responsibilities because I was nursing. In fact my life is way easier those first few months than the rest of the time!
Sounds like she is just jealous that she is all stressed out doing her power thing, while I am enjoying tea parties with green cupcakes, sewing toys, clothes and other items for my children and enjoying life to the fullest.
roar!
I really don’t get it. Breast feeding anti-feminist? But men CAN’T do it. Why shouldn’t we treasure it as something that is exclusively, biologically ours?
I think that this is one reason that long-term, funded maternity leave is so important. It allows women to take that new baby time without giving up their careers. Because not everyone will want to stay home, or be in a financial position to do so. And my research says that an early return to work does correlate with lower breastfeeding rates. I think we need to recognize our biological differences, and find a way to work with them without forcing women to choose sides.
I’m also baffled at a certain segment of the feminist world that thinks that realising the female biological imperative is not feminist. Some feminist seem to seek to eliminate biology from the equation. This is madness. Women are able to gestate and nurture the human race. This isn’t their totality and it doesn’t prevent them from full participation, to their desire, in the world.
The original author’s problems seem to stem from marital conflict and a mild case of PPD, if I had to make a call based on the article. If anything, it sounds like the article is antifeminist, in that the author seems to resent her womanhood and seems to advocate for tempering it as if being a mother was less than just being a woman and both of those less than being a man.
Also, totally in agreement that the silence about the supposed feminist implications of pregnancy is rather hypocritical. One can’t pick and choose when to turn the feminist theorizing on and off.
There’s a long discussion of the article on the Motherlode blog at the NY Times:
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/16/is-breastfeeding-the-new-vacuum-cleaner/
Minored in Women’s Studies. Exclusive and on demand breastfeeding has been one of the most rewarding things I have done as a human being, it is in NO way shape or form anti-feminist. If you’re not prepared to give your kids the best start in life (I don’t think there is any scientific debate remaining that breast is best; if you can’t BF, find the best forumla, whatever) in terms of basic needs like feeding, and then beyond… WHY HAVE KIDS? Just something to check off your list of things to do?
That woman has some SERIOUS issues. Was she breastfed?
I just can’t agree with her conclusions. Like many another person here, I see bottle feeding as far more difficult and inconvenient. So much mess. And there’s always the pump if you really want your partner to help feed the baby. At least then you can pick the time you pump rather than being at baby’s demand.
I delight in this thing that only a woman can do. It’s a legitimate difference. I have a 6 week old right now as well as a 4 and 6 year old, so I get where she’s coming from talking about how draining it all is, but for so many reasons I see breastfeeding as the right choice for me.
I’ll admit it makes working at home more difficult. I’m just now getting back into the routine of typing with baby on a Boppy or having the energy to work while she naps. But that’s all stuff that would come up if I used formula.
I wrote about this already on my blog: http://tinyurl.com/ad7z6s
I enjoyed your response to Rosin’s piece. I’m not sure where Rosin got the idea that everything egalitarianism is the ideal in a marriage where childrearing is concerned. It’s not a manmade conspiracy that only women give birth and breast feed. The biological fact that, by necessity, most of the heavy lifting of making babies falls to women means equality in a marriage when children are young simply isn’t possibly – so why crab about it? Rosin’s article reminds me of Naomi Wolf’s book “Misconceptions,” another conspiracy-seeking throwback based solely on one woman’s expectations.
A point Rosin makes that I do agree with is the extent to which extended breastfeeding benefits children. She’s right that scientists right now can’t tell women qualitatively how much smarter and healthier children breastfed X number of months will be. But is that reason enough to quit after a month and blame the patriarchy for using nursing as a tool to keep women down? Kids *are* inconvenient. Anyone who has had two previous babies know this.
@ Eliz: Thank you for your comment and the link to your post. With regards to the benefits of extended breastfeeding, there has been some research done. Some of it is highlighted here: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html
EXCELLENT EXCELLENT EXCELLENT!! I too worked and breastfed and pumped and I was the main breadwinner for my family! I consider myself a feminist and a mom and an extended breastfeeder and to me they all go hand-in-hand. I now run my own business and YES, I am still breastfeeding! Great post Annie!! Thanks again!
Thank you for these responses to the article, I read it yesterday and felt frustrated and walked away from the computer . I take issue when articles like this equate breastfeeding with keeping up with the joneses – which is the overall feeling I got. Don’t belittle it as a trend.
I also agree that pregnancy is far far more restricting which is why I am still nursing after 2 years and putting off pregnancy because I hate how restricting it is- if nursing was that bad I would have given it up long ago.
Yes, yes, and yes! Thoughtfully and convincingly written! Huge kudos to you. I hope you get to have a debate with Rosin on Oprah.
Hmmmm….I have breastfed all 5 of my children and worked and started businesses, etc. I remember one time negotiating a business contract over the telephone while nursing my daughter.
However, I have to say that breastfeeding came “naturally” to me. I know that some of my friends struggled incredibly to nurse.
To me, feminism is something that empowers all women to be the best they can be and to walk their own path with peace and dignity free from oppression and negative stereotypes. I chose to breastfeed my children. When my 6th child arrives in August, I shall breastfeed him or her as well.
I consider myself very fortunate to be living in times like these–where it is possible for a woman to be at home and have a career. I refuse to let an issue such as feeding a child define me as an individual, and I reject those who try to define me by such things.
That is my own personal belief though.
Thanks for this great response Annie. Your simple responses to her seemingly huge issues really puts her in her place I think. I hope she’s reading all these posts and articles that are against her case as well as those that are for it. Because over the past few days I have been thinking that the only reason she could have possibly put so much effort into that article is to get some attention from the public to sympathize with her to make her feel better about herself for having the feelings she has that forced her to write that dangerous piece of literature in the first place.
Annie, I was hoping you would write a blog on this after I saw the article on KellyMom. Love your point about pregnancy! And I feel the same way about breastfeeding “tying you down” — my children come along with me wherever I go… I pump while I continue to work…. I consider myself a complete feminist! As a woman, it is my privilege to nurture babies in my womb and then nurture them at my breast.
With all due respect… phdparenting “nursed” for 3 and six months respectively. She then went on to have another person (“caregiver” ?) bottle feed her children her expressed human milk. She probably made these choices in order to be able to go back to her career. If she had actually breastfed for YEARS… as many women do, then it is not so easy to be gainfully employed.
@Penny: Let me clarify (not that it matters for my argument really). I stayed at home full-time with my son for 3 months and with my daughter for 6 months. After that, I returned to work and did express milk that was fed by my husband (who is a stay at home dad) or my mother (who helps out 2 days per week while my husband is in school) while I was at work. I also nursed my kids in the morning before work, upon arriving home, in the evening, at bedtime, and throughout the night as they needed. I also continued to nurse on demand on weekends. I also own my own company and take more vacation than the average person and nursed my kids on demand during the more than 2 months that I take off each year. I nursed my son until he self-weaned at 2.5 years. My daughter is turning 2 this month and I am still nursing her.
I did make these choices in order to go back to my career. I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make with that.
I know plenty of mothers that manage to combine pumping while at work with nursing while at home. I also know plenty of mothers that work from home or that take their babies to work and therefore do not need to pump. There are many variations that are possible where a mom is gainfully employed and continues to breastfeed.
Thank you for this great piece. I have come across these absurd and pathetic arguments before. I have three children, breastfed each for nearly a year, and had no trouble doing that and working and looking after the others, and doing everything else I needed to do at the same time. Children are a life-changing commitment however you feed them, and it is not long before husbands can help with bottles of expressed milk, or shovelling in the mashed banana. This just seems decadent and spoilt to me.
I agree that turning one person’s issue with one possible of parenting choice into feminist reasoning is philosophical conjecture. I also don’t think Rosin understands Feminism.
Feminists have been at odds about the role motherhood plays in women’s lives since the dawn of the political philosophy. We have yet to settle it. Rosin’s argument is useful to discuss, but she probably isn’t inquiring. Likely, she’s stating something as fact using her personal experience. I think that is less useful.
Nursing is one more choice mothers make, and one that can seem to be burdensome at times. I nursed my daughter until she was three years old – I understand that “ball and chain” feeling. But it was just a feeling. I don’t think that Rosin had a clear reason for nursing her children because her complaints got a lot louder than her main goal (like the health of her children or Attachment Parenting benefits).
I think that if it made her that miserable she should have stopped earlier – nursing angry isn’t good for mom or baby. Perhaps her desire to make the practice offensive to feminism is simply a way to justify that she made the wrong choice for herself and doesn’t want to take responsibility for it.
The point that I am trying to make is that if a woman exclusively nurses on demand and for years until self-led weaning happens, it is difficult to have a career and be obligated to anyone other than that child. Choosing to have your child human milk fed by a father or grandmother is a nice alternative to breastfeeding. I am not suggesting that you compromised your child; but rather that breastfeeding is breastfeeding and human milk feeding is exactly that. They are different. With one the mother must “be” with the child, with the other the mother can work. I was trying to make a distinction.
@Penny: Sure, there is a distinction. One is best, the other is second best. Both are still better than formula. That said, so many women do not realize that it is possible to work during the day and continue breastfeeding when you are with your child. I don’t pump at work anymore (my daughter is almost 2), but she still does have plenty of opportunity to nurse when we are together and probably nurses as much (if not more) as most the same age that are with their mother all day.
What struck me is that Rosin seems to be bitter about being *a mother,* and that she feels that since the science is not *overwhelming* (yet) she was duped into being more of a mother than she actually wanted to be.
In the end, she says she is part-time nursing, part-time bottle feeding. But she doesn’t go into the “cons” of bottle feeding at all – as if formula doesn’t need to be scrutinized at all, as long as it was a feminist modern middle-class woman who made an informed decision to use it.
(and by “bottle-feeding” I really meant “formula-feeding.”)
I’m a little bored with reading about BFing, but this one hooked me in, lol
For me, three things stood out.
Firstly, one of her initial points – women using BFing as a badge into some fascist elite club. I think this division is one of the most damaging processes happening right now surrounding motherhood, NOT whether one BFs or not. Though many of her points in the first part are not rational and many commenters can argue against them (as you’ve done in your eloquent article), I understand where that frustration comes from. And that foundation is the crucial part, not her emotional and irrational points.
Secondly – feminism, to me, is about choice, not about being as equal as possible. What IS equal? It’s about being able to choose total domesticity and not being judged less of a feminist. So she lost me there.
Lastly, her science is good. Not great, but good. I have read many of the same studies. But what it does highlight is how emotional beliefs become ironclad manifestos. Such as the whole immune system issue.
I like that she wrote about the historical process. Showing how it had virtually nothing to do with BM being the magic bullet it is often hailed to be. And showing how the real issue was lack of choice and control – being manipulated by doctors and other professionals rather than allowing a woman to do what comes naturally.
Now, we are at the other extreme, the sisterhood is dividing because we don’t allow mothers to do what we first fought for – the right to choose.
it’d be really nice if women stopped fighting EACH OTHER about this issue and got down to the brass tacks: we ALL need to be on the same page to fight for the mother’s rights in the workplace. this means not trying to find every reason in the world why women shouldn’t have to breastfeed, but rather, find every reason in the world why society and the workplace should encourage and support it. this means all levels of the workplace, from Targets to auto workers, from Wall Street to the post office. extended maternity leave and ideal pumping situations is what we should be fighting about – not why it’s ok to feed your baby formula because it empowers you as a woman (??). what empowers us is being on the same side of an issue and becoming the most powerful voice possible. not writing irresponsible, half-truths about breastfeeding juxtaposed against feminism and trying to pass it off as fact rather than opinion. Rosin did nothing for feminism with her article, in fact, all she did was separate us more.
THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS BLOG POST!!!! (I am going to link to it on my blog http://www.nursingbirth.com)
Rosin’s article and her appearance on the Today show deeply saddened me. The only thing I agree with Rosin about is that mothers need to stop judging each other and support each other. But the agreement stops there. Rosin’s research is shoddy, incomplete, outdated, and inaccurate. If it was complete she would have written about a meta analysis published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (AHRQ) in 2007 entitled “Breastfeeding and Maternal and Infant Health Outcomes in Developed Countries,” which reviewed over 9,000 abstracts, 43 preliminary studies, 43 primary studies on maternal health outcomes, and 29 systematic reviews or meta-analyses that covered approximately 400 individual studies on breastfeeding and concluded with the following:
“A history of breastfeeding was associated with a reduction in the risk of acute otitis media, non-specific gastroenteritis, severe lower respiratory tract infections, atopic dermatitis, asthma (young children), obesity, type 1 and 2 diabetes, childhood leukemia, sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), and necrotizing enterocolitis [for the child]. For maternal outcomes, a history of lactation was associated with a reduced risk of type 2 diabetes, breast, and ovarian cancer…Early cessation of breastfeeding or not breastfeeding was associated with an increased risk of maternal postpartum depression.”
If you are a woman who decides breastfeeding is not a choice you want to make, then fine. Even pro-breastfeeding health care providers and educators will agree that there are plenty of reasons why a mother might have to feed her baby pumped milk or formula via bottle. But for Rosin to go on national television and say that “the scientific literature regarding the benefits of breastfeeding is thin” is just WRONG. She thinks this article is an “I’ve got your back” to all the mothers who choose not to or can’t breastfeed. But in reality it is just going to hurt the breastfeeding community by spreading a doctrine that tells women, their families, their bosses, and their legislature that “it’s unnecessary to support the rights of breastfeeding mothers.” Healthy living takes a time commitment. Being a parent takes time and sacrifice. If you are a mother who doesn’t want to make the sacrifices necessary to breastfeed OR if situations beyond your control prevent you or your baby from breastfeeding OR if you just bond better with you baby by not breastfeeding , that’s your choice and you’re right, you shouldn’t be “judged” for it. But to call breastfeeding an “instrument of misery that mostly just keeps women down” is sickening.
~Melissa
http://www.nursingbirth.com
Great points! I keep really really interesting responses all over the web to this wacky article.
I say, when you make a case against something so natural and so basic to humanity—the very feeding of our babies in the way we were meant to feed them—it seems to me you are throwing in your vote with the capital-driven, work-and-productivity-above-all-else camp. You are saying that things women inherently do are not as valuable as industry. You are devaluing women. How is this real feminism? Women should not have to match men in order to be respected.
I haven’t any idea how this woman thinks that she can get up often enough to feed a child at night and function the next morning at her all-important job.
I nursed my children whilst cosleeping at night. My oldest nursed every two hours until 18 months old. Had I needed to get up to provide him with the love, care, and comfort he needed at that age, I’d have been a walking zombie. Breastfeeding let him feel comforted and loved in our bed while I blissfully slept next to him.
Excellent response, Annie!
I went to bed really angry last night after reading your response. This is not normal as I normaly enjoy your blog. I hadn’t read Roslin’s article (I have now though) but thought that you were think you are a superwoman as you manage to breastfeed/pump at work. And though you state in some of your responses here that you understand that some mothers cannot/do not want to breastfeed, I feel that you look down on those women.
All night long and most of today I’ve been framing a response to you in my mind.
My fundamental question is not actually about breastfeeding (I am a total advocate of that) but about whether feminism is anti Stay-at-home-mum. And this is also something that comes out in the Roslin article to a small degree…SAHM are not valued.
Before birth, the plan was that I have my year of maternity then return to work. The husband was going to be a stay-at-home-dad.
After birth, this changed. I was breastfeeding and after a rocky start enjoyed the very ease of it. Also, I enjoyed the experience of looking after something so helpless. He on the other hand found this hard and confessed that he would prefer to look after her when she was a little older.
So I became a stay-at-home-mum. Now I sometimes feel as if I am a non-entity. I’m educated, had a very good career and was a respected person in the workplace. Although my husband respects me as a SAHM I don’t think the world does. And you know who I have the hardest problems with…those mums who went back to work and do it all.
@ Bina:
If that is the impression of me that you got from that post, I did a horrible job. I don’t think that feminism is anti-stay-at-home-mom. That would be awfully hypocritical of me since my husband is a stay-at-home-dad. I would never devalue the work that he does or the contribution that he makes to our family and I wouldn’t devalue the contribution that any woman that chooses (or has to) stay at home makes either.
I believe in choice. But I think that choice should be a shared choice between partners. Neither partner should feel forced to stay at home and resentful of the other partner. Both partners should make a contribution to their children’s lives. If you enjoy staying at home and your husband doesn’t feel up to it at this point and you are both happy with that scenario, then that is fabulous. I’m sorry that you feel you are a non-entity, but please don’t allow my words to contribute to that. I value the work that any stay at home parent does.
The reason that I spoke about my experiences being able to breastfeed and work was because of Rosin’s premise that it is not possible and that women essentially do not have the option to be gainfully employed and to advance in their career if they are breastfeeding. I have demonstrated through the choices I made that it is possible and I think that blaming breastfeeding for a woman’s inability to advance her career is misplaced. I think that having children takes a lot of effort from parents and I think that any couple that has children is going to face setbacks in their careers, with either one parent or both parents giving up some career advancement opportunities for the important job of raising their children. But it isn’t because of breastfeeding.
I am a woman who did not breastfeed either of my children. It angers me that so many feel it acceptable to attack Rosin, not her article but her as a woman, thereby attacking all women who feel the way she does. Your experiences breastfeeding are just that, yours. Just because it worked for you doesn’t mean it isn’t valid to say it doesn’t work for me.
To answer why breastfeeding takes more time than bottle feeding is that you can have other people feed the baby — and guess what, it’s not just selfish of you to take a break because the baby and the others doing the feeding LOVE it! My husband wanted to be able to feed the baby, and with formula, he could just get up and do it, and I actually got to sleep at night. This was not only nice for me, but a great bonding experience for my husband and children. And my children’s grandparents got to feed them. This is a good thing.
As for the scientific stuff, she presented good information, that most of you admitted you didn’t bother to read. I can tell you from my small, not scientific sample set, that my kids who were exclusively formula fed are super healthy, only one had one ear infection ever, no allergies, no weight issues and are super smart kids (so says teachers, not just me), this is as opposed to all their cousins who have had ear infections, many illnesses requiring doctor care, some with weight issues, several with allergies and definitely no brighter than my own children. What I am saying is my real life doesn’t draw the same conclusions as the pro-breastfeeding side does.
Having children is something that should draw women together, but what I see here is that all the pro-breastfeeding proponents are extremely judgmental of women who don’t breastfeed for any reason including medical, in their every constant goal to be best mommy ever, but guess what? There is no prize. Do your best with you children for your situation and STOP JUDGING OTHERS, please!
@ Jen: I think it is ironic that you are accusing me of judging others. Rosin’s article is extremely judgmental of moms that do choose to breastfeed (they aren’t feminists, they look down at others, they are being held down and not fighting back). I’ve said over and over that I do not judge individual women for choosing formula, but do they really need to convince the rest of the world to make the same choice in order to feel okay about it?
Sorry Jan I don’t want to sound paternalistic but maybe you don’t know who Josef Mengele is. Please google him. She is placing tremendous blame on Women that do not think like her. They are part of they own oppression, oppression to the Nazi levels. I am single with no child planed. But I will commemorate the posters for the moderated answers to the article. I believe that, in breastfeeding, the woman is not obligated to justify her decision. But she open herself to criticism by clamming others are bigoted (the Christian ones), mystical nuts (feminists), fembots etc. For me is rare not to breastfeed when you are not working outside. Taking 50% of house stuff but 0% of outside work is rare (for me). Even so I am not willing to compare her friend with the other Joseph (Stalin). She is not torturing nobody, I don’t know her motivations education etc. So I let her be.
Well-done rebuttal.
I’m not a mom but I am in favor of breastfeeding.
@Jen – I don’t understand where PhDinParenting was attacking Rosin, as a woman, or, by your extension, attacking all women who make the same choices that she did. She was presenting a rebuttal of Rosin’s argument that breastfeeding is anti-feminist. It’s not a personal attack on Rosin or anyone else. If you can point out some specific points in this Annie’s blog post where you feel like she was attacking Rosin personally, post them up here and I’d be happy to debate or agree with on those points.
Re: the ‘scientific stuff’ Annie states at the beginning of this post that she is not addressing any of the scientific arguments here, she is working on a well-researched follow-up rebuttal of Rosin’s scientific arguments for later in the month. If you have issues with the rebuttals that other bloggers have written re: Rosin’s science, I hope you will address the issues on those specific blogs, and I hope you will be able to take a minute to read & comment on PhDinParenting’s ‘science’ post when she puts it up.
I do want to address one point you make, on the science of whether breastfeeding gives kids an advantage in various areas. You state that your own kids are healthy, strong, intelligent, etc. I don’t doubt any of it! Your kids sound like lovely, healthy people. But you are using anecdotal evidence to refute controlled, randomized studies with very large sample sizes. Your one contrary anecdote (or even if you came up with 5 or 10 other families like yours), does not negate the multitude of evidence that breastfeeding does in fact provide health benefits to kids, especially when compared directly to a matched group of formula-fed children (I don’t think Rosin cites any of these type of studies in her article) I don’t want to get into a debate on the science of breastfeeding in Annie’s comments section, so I’m going to defer to her upcoming post on the ‘Case Against Breastfeeding’ where she will address the scientific issues.
I wholeheartedly agree with your statement that having children should draw women together, and that we should try hard not to be judgemental. I have been reading this blog for a while and this is a theme that runs through many, many of her posts. Annie is entitled to her opinions about Rosin’s article, and no way does that mean that she is being judgmental of all moms who formula feed – I just don’t understand where you’re getting that from.
I took something more nuanced away from Rosin’s scientific argument. I didn’t read her to say that there are no benefits to breastfeeding, but that the scientific literature is mixed as to the degree of those benefits (10IQ points! 3 IQ points! no IQ points!). And that there is no perfect study because we cannot do randomly assigned control groups for infant feeding choices. Thus, nearly all of the research is retrospective: parents are interviewed about their feeding practices (duration, exclusivity, etc), their characteristics are inventoried (race, class, education, health, etc) and health or other outcomes of their children are recorded (IQ, allergies, disease, etc.). While this is a very legitimate way to conduct scientific research, it isn’t perfect and sorting out confounding factors is very difficult.
This is where Rosin missed the mark — IMHO — she never acknowledged the weight and importance of the collective body of this research, which clearly demonstrates that breastfeeding confers benefits (or if you prefer that formula feeding has risks).
What she got right is how small some of those benefits/risks are. So small that for any given child, the odds of whether breastfeeding will have any impact on their lives is pretty darn close to nil (at least in the developed world). Thus, there is something to all those anecdotal stories of “my baby was fed formula and is the picture of health.” Statistically, most formula fed babies are going to be just as healthy as their breastfed peers — the research has never demonstrated a wide gap between the two groups, but rather discernible (though small) levels of either increased benefits/risks (depending on how you like to phrase it).
But again, Rosin’s picture isn’t complete. The push for increasing breastfeeding rates has little to do with the health of any single baby or child — it is a public health issue.
Across a population, even tiny benefits or risks have a significant impact. So even if the increased risk of some random poor health outcome is only .004% in formula fed babies versus breastfed babies, multiply that by the 4 million babies born in the US last year and you have 160 babies affected. Yes, the odds may be inconsequential that your baby could suffer the poor health outcome, but 160 babies is something public health officials worry about and dedicate their life’s work to prevent.
My take-away from Rosin on the science is that if breastfeeding is incompatible with how a family needs to structure their collective life, then don’t knock yourself out to make breastfeeding work. Odds are nobody’s health will suffer.
But for those of us who see the merits in the public health benefits of advocating for increased breastfeeding rates, a preferable message would be — what can be changed to make breastfeeding work for more families? Longer, better paid maternity leaves? Better acceptance and protection for moms who nurse in public? Better informed health care providers who can help moms get the best possible start on their breastfeeding journey? Advancing the collective public esteem for the traditional “work” of mothering and nurturing babies and children?
Rosin’s article has started an interesting discussion. I wish she had chosen a different title as the one she picked (“The Case Against Breastfeeding”) was far too provocative for what really was a very personal story of one woman’s breastfeeding journey.
And i wish she would have spent more words on why she continues to nurse her youngest. What is it about this particular act of mothering that — despite everything she has come to learn about the research and how breastfeeding has affected her autonomy, her career — that even now, she cannot quit.
Whew! This is the longest comment I’ve ever written. thanks to those of you who stuck it out. And to Annie for providing this wonderful forum.
No offense, but feminism totally missed the mark, pretending as if we live in little rooms of her own and as if autonomy actually does exist in a healthy, stable world; a good place to raise children. That’s not to say I don’t identify with aspects of feminism, I do. But when I read of articles like this one you’re responding to, I just want to scream, “You can’t reproduce and escape your biology!”
Have a room of your own. I’m all for it. But once you have children, it’s just not all about you – male or female – anymore. Whining about it doesn’t change a thing. Perhaps a better question would be, “Is breastfeeding possible for the selfish?”
Before all get too comfortable patting each other’s backs for what great feminists we are because we’ve all made our own choices and we have great co-parenting relationships with our spouses, and saying “oh, poor Hanna just needs to talk to her husband more and quit being so selfish” — let’s remember that in the United States, women still do not get paid the same amount as men for the same work — from truck driving to corporation running. Maternity leave, if we work for a big enough place is 12 weeks — and if we don’t, it’s a scant six. And as far as going back to work and pumping, it’s great and easy and convenient if you have a corner office or a private lounge in your workplace, but what about if you don’t? Should you pump in the bathroom? Should you pump at your desk in a cublicle? Should you pump in your car (one mom I know had to go to that length, and she worked for a HEALTH CARE employer, one of the largest employers in my city). In the meantime, while you’re pumping, your boss is looking for you because didn’t you already take a 15 minute break today, and you can’t just tag another 15 minutes onto your already truncated lunch. Women simply do not have equality IN THE WORKPLACE because we have babies and boobies.
Now, before you leap up in protest, does all this mean that we should stop having babies and/or breastfeeding them? No, of course not. But maybe the feminism that really needs to be addressed is the radical idea of coming together and — beyond respecting each woman and each mother’s right to make her own choice — fighting for our rights within the workplace and within society. Fighting for someplace clean, private, and convenient to pump. Fighting for equal pay for equal work. Fighting for longer leaves and better access to daycare.
It’s nice if you have a partner who pitches in half (or more than half if he’s a stay-at-home-dad). But that’s not what feminism is all about. It’s about a lot, lot, lot more.
rpm
@redpenmama I agree that those are all things worth fighting for. Equal pay, more parental leave (I say parental, not maternity, because again I think each couple should be able to choose what is right for them), better workplace policies, etc. If that is what Rosin had been writing about, I would have backed her up all the way. But rather than blaming the patriarchal set up of our society, she blamed breastfeeding.
Annie,
Many thanks for your response and the follow up email. I very much appreciate it. I admit the submit button got pushed before I had finished my response (the appalling grammar that wasn’t checked was a clue!) and I didn’t bother to do a follow up post so my apologies.
Rosins article and your responses, plus all the comments here have given me a lot to think about. I have never been interested in feminism but have found myself reading up on it lately. We do have the choice to either stay at home or return to work. But sometimes circumstances force the issue – to give up work or to give up breastfeeding. My anecdotal experience in London is that women aren’t able to successfully breastfeed whilst at work as they don’t have the facilities to pump or to store the milk before they get home. I don’t know how many manage the logistics of this as well as the inevitable long commute you have in London.
This is partly why I chose to stay home, I couldn’t face the 1.5 to 2 hour commutes each way to my office. And I wanted to continue to breastfeed so made the choice to stay home. Anyhow, my workplace didn’t even have a creche, didn’t have the required room for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers to rest and had open plan layouts with glass fronted offices so no privacy for pumping (all this despite the fact that many workers there got pregnant). The particular job I did was quite male dominated so I just wasn’t willing to pump in public .
I am resentful that the workplace arrangement took some of my choice away from me. However, I wasn’t willing to stay and fight the cause. I am glad that you and others did…hopefully it will pave the way.
For your UK readers…they may be interested in this pdf http://www.breastfeeding.nhs.uk/en/materialforclients/downloads/leaflet_4.pdf.
There was also the concern that I didn’t express enough. Not all women do well with pumps.
Interestingly, when I asked an Indian colleague of mine who recently had a baby whether she would breastfeed – she responded that there is no question “what would I do with all that mama-milk if I didn’t breastfeed”. They don’t have the choice..they breastfeed. And I think they do it at home (I will check with here).
My final thought is whether the recession is going to have any effect – are women even less likely to be given the option to pump at work?
“As a feminist mother, I consider it my right to insist on conditions that allow me to pump for my baby.”
Where I work, they’d just fire you.
Not for asking for the accomodations. That would make them sound like assholes, wouldn’t it? They’d just fire you for ‘time theft’ when you took too many breaks to pump or because you spent too much time on hold with the LC and your break ran over, or for asking for too many days off to go see the LCs. They CAN fire you for those things, and they jolly well will.
My state offers no protection. Sure, if you Google it, my state will come up as one that ‘protects women in the work place’, but it does that by officially ‘encouraging’ employers to accomodate breastfeeding women. With all due respect, who gives a fuck?
You were able to take maternity leave. Many of my coworkers had to return to work in two weeks or less because they couldn’t afford anything more.
To me, THESE things are worth getting my underpants in a twist about, not an article pointing out that there are flaws in the science, that there is a financial cost to breastfeeding (losing your job is pretty costly), that the US is giving short shrift to poor women in regards to breastfeeding.
Oh, and Tiffany? “Formula is substandard…end of story.”
I get a lot of crap already for not breastfeeding, but feel free to pile it on. My breastmilk was (literally) toxic. Their formula was not. Formula is not always substandard. End of story.
@akeeyu: Sure, there are situations where formula is advisable. I don’t dispute that and I don’t judge a woman for using formula. I also agree that it is worth getting our underpants in a twist about lack of maternity leave, unfriendly work environments, and so on. If that had been the point of Hanna Rosin’s article, I would have been lined up to support her. But no, instead of talking about the need to change those things, she decided to go on a rant about how breastfeeding is anti-feminist and not all that beneficial anyways. That I take exception to.
@aghast: A soda machine? Really? Holy crap….If breastfeeding is equivalent to a soda machine, then formula feeding must be close to smoking crack. Give me a break…
…and for the record, I am actually VERY pro-breastfeeding. I’m just tired of poor women getting put through the meat grinder about it.
Jennifer – you are allowed to attend to your own health even after you have brought a child into the world. If that means not being a soda machine for that child, so be it. Shaming other women into giving up their own health and well-being for a child is wrong.
Very well written! I breastfed both my boys and I loved it! And never felt bad about it, at all! It worked for me. I also have a great career. My husband actually now stays home with the boys and helps out with the caregiving, along with my mom and mom-in-law. I feel sorry for the author of that article, she just sounds really bitter to me! I stopped breastfeeding when they were both 6 months old.
My take on this is that she was no longer happy breastfeeding and is coming up with all the excuses she can to help her deal with her internal fight about breastfeeding. If you are no longer happy in your breastfeeding relationship with your baby, then it’s true, it’s time to find something that is going to work for you and not resent your time with your baby. I think what is important to remember is at most likely at some point we have all had moments of feeling like she did. I know I have. When I have been in the house for days on end with this little being that is literally stuck to me for what seems like hours and hours. I get a little jealous that my husband “gets” to go to work. Jealous enough to quit and go to work myself – nope, but I still have had those feelings – Must be nice to spend a day with adults, must be nice not to have a little leech stuck to you. The key is they are moments of those thoughts, they don’t out weigh the happiness I get from breastfeeding.
I could list a lot of other points but what I think it boils down to is that she didn’t really have any idea of what breastfeeding was going to be like – I mean the heavy thick parts of breastfeeding. I would guess that she had no one there to support her much either, to say yeah, that’s normal we all feel like that some days. Take a deep breath and this too shall pass. Instead it sounds like she let the feelings consume her and now had to make it within herself for her choices.
It was great to read your arguments against the Rosin article, and all the comments following up to it. I look forward to ‘part 2′ of the critique. I agree that it is workplaces and employment law that need to be looked at, and we should all be fighting for that, helping to create an environment where it is truly a ‘choice’ to breastfeed or not. At the moment, the cards are stacked against women. Why else would around 80 % express a desire to breastfeed, yet by 3 months, not even 30 % are still exclusively doing so (UK statistics – and we have much better maternity leave and pay set-up than the US, but still not as good as some parts of Europe)?
I must admit though, that I am still on a journey with reconciling my feminism and my attachment parenting principles, and that even as a so-called ‘extended breastfeeder’ (still feeding my 19-month-old on demand), and breastfeeding counsellor trainee, parts of Rosin’s article struck a chord with me. Breastfeeding does require a large amount of commitment and often sacrifice, and there have been more than a few moments when I have felt ‘chained’ to the couch (as Naomi Wolf says in ‘Misconceptions’), and longed to be able to sleep more than a 2 hour stretch at night. I would say that my decision to not go back to work as planned was just as much informed by my breastfeeding as other factors. I suspect that most women do not really realise what breastfeeding entails, and when they have been told all their lives that they can ‘have it all’ (the big lie of feminism), it truly is shattering to find that, at least in the short-term, you may not be able to ‘have it all’ at once. I find it encouraging to read of other mothers who have managed to juggle breastfeeding with work, and so on, but I have to say that this has not been the case for me thus far, having a baby who has very high sucking needs.
For me, breastfeeding is instinctive; it provides ‘live food’ which there is no question is better for human beings ; and it has never been an option for me, but always the only option. I do not blame or judge individual formula-feeding mothers, but believe that more women could breastfeed happily and successfully if given the right support and environmental conditions. Sadly, our society has a long way to go in adjusting it’s anti-family and anti-child atmosphere. Thank you for providing a forum for this valuable debate.
@Morgan: Our stats here in Canada are:
~ 90% intend to breastfeed and initiate breastfeeding
~ 52% exclusively breastfeeding @ 3 months
~ 15% exclusively breastfeeding @ 6 months (around 53% still breastfeeding though…my guess a lot of early solids intro still)
The whole idea that breastfeeding somehow prevents a spouse from being involved in caring for the child, or means that mom has to do everything drives me batty!
I’m a postpartum doula, and believe me when I tell you that in supporting breastfeeding pairs (mom and baby) I have NO problem finding things to do to be helpful and involved. Fix and provide snacks, support, encourage, reassure, fold laundry, provide company, wash dishes, burp the baby, change diapers, change the channel (some babies really require two hands to nurse well at first), run mom a bath, set up baby’s bath supplies, start dinner, write out a dictated grocery list… the opportunities are virtually endless.
I agree, Rosin’s issues seem to be primarily communication and resentment. I don’t see how formula feeding would cure either one.
I wrote about this a while back, too. She is angry, but I think her anger is clearly misplaced toward breastfeeding. I wrote back in March:
“I guess what I’m saying is that I see so many women wrestle with these “Mommy War” issues–breast or bottle, disposable or cloth, stay-at-home or career–who end up feeling somewhat guilty about their choices. And there’s absolutely no need for guilt if you have considered where your priorities are and chosen accordingly, chosen the things that will make you happiest.”
There is no need to feel guilty–or angry–when you are making conscious choices in accordance with your values.
I was just reading another article of yours and it linked to this one… I know this is an old post but I had to share with you the awesome adaptation my niece (young breastfeeding instinctual mama that she is!) did of the international breastfeeding symbol: http://www.zazzle.com/KristaJoy
(the creator of the original got a kick of it too!)
@KristaJoy: Very cute.
I’m going out on a limb here commenting because I am a bottle-nurser. It is at this point that I feel compelled to explain, at length, how I came to be a bottle-nurser. However, I’m really not sure that telling the story is the thing to do. It is chock full of TMI moments. Nevertheless, I am nearly overwhelmed with the desire to lay it all out, to explain, to justify, to assure, to reassure myself and others that this decision was thought-out, well-intentioned and at least somewhat outside of my control. I also feel compelled to say again and again that I support breastfeeding. I believe it is best for both mother and baby due to the closeness and bonding that it promotes. Obviously, I believe that the milk itself is valuable as well. However, I believe that the biggest benefit is the promotion of bonding. I believe this can be achieved thru bottle-nursing, if a concerted effort is made in this direction (thru co-sleeping, baby-wearing, etc.). As a bottle-nurser, I have been subtly shunned and denied necessary support. Shortly after my daughter’s birth, I joined an online group dedicated to AP parenting.(I was feeling a little lost returning to caring for an infant after a break of nearly seventeen years.) At first, I was welcomed to the group and my questions were answered quickly and wholeheartedly. After I shared that I was not breastfeeding, things changed. In fact, once when I was quoted in a thread, the portion in which I revealed I was not breastfeeding was removed from the quote altogether. The message was clear that I was not truly “crunchy.” If we are going to assume that my daughter and I are disadvantaged due to bottle-nursing, it would seem that the kind and good-spirited thing to do would be to offer us additional support to help bridge the gap. Sadly, it seems to me that breastfeeding has become, in many ways, a status symbol.
@elizabeth:
I believe that bottle nursers deserve support (and empathy if they wanted to breastfeed). I do believe that bottle nursers can be AP (and that breastfeeders can be very much non-AP). On the attachment parenting message boards that I have participated in and moderated, bottle nursers were welcome and supported. I think it is too bad that you were not.
I’m a hardcore feminist and also likely hold the world’s record for years of breastfeeding!