Saturday, June 20, 2009
So often when people talk about attachment parenting they are thinking about the nurturing role that the mother plays. In our house, the mothering role has been an important one, but the fathering role has been critical too. We are partners in raising our kids, not a lead parent and a second fiddle. I value the role that my husband plays in our family and I know our children do too. I wish society would place more value on the role men can play as fathers.
So as a father's day tribute, let me tell you what an attached dad looks like in our house:
- An attached dad knows that real men use ring slings (or wraps, mei tais, etc...).
- An attached dad parents his children to sleep by lying down with them and telling imaginative stories as they head off to dream land.
- An attached dad trusts that his children will wean when they are ready.
- An attached dad takes years off of his own career to be a stay at home dad when that is what works best for the family.
- An attached dad uses tickle fights and monster attacks to elicit shrieks of joy and physical play.
- An attached dad goes to his son at night and joins him in bed when he calls out and says "Daddy, cuddle me tight".
- An attached dad puts his chores aside and spends the morning cuddling when his daughter says, "Daddy, I need you".
- An attached dad understands that he doesn't need to feed formula to be an involved dad.
- An attached dad washes the cloth diapers, over and over again, without being asked, so often that the attached mom can't remember when she last washed them.
- An attached dad knows you can be firm and set limits without hitting or shaming your children.
- An attached dad loves sharing the bed for afternoon naps.
- An attached dad marvels at the personalities and abilities of his children and beams with pride.
- An attached dad sometimes needs a break and in turn understands that the attached mom sometimes needs one too.
Happy Father's Day!!
What does an attached dad look like in your house?