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IComLeavWe: Day 3

This is day three of IComLeavWe on speed. As I make my way through over 100 blogs this week, reconnecting and leaving comments, I hope to feature a couple of posts each day and also list the posts that I commented on.

Featured Posts - Of diapers and toilets

Toilet training can be a very stressful or at least consuming part of parenting. For some parents, everything happens easily and smoothly. For others, it doesn't. We've had our share of trials, tribulations and successes as I wrote about in toilet learning and poop terror. We still have challenges.  Even when we try to be patient and not push anything, it can still be stressful, like it continues to be with my daughter's bowel movements (she hates having them and will hold it for as long as possible).

Two of the posts I read today were about toilet learning. One of them was about advances. The other about taking a step back.

Heather from It's All About the Hat wrote More advances about their progress with elimination communication.
I wonder when we should move to underwear in public. On an EC forum, there was some discussion about this. In cultures where EC is more common, very often children are out of diapers by 18 months. Does that mean they're 100% potty learned? No. Accidents are common but no one bats an eye. A kid would pee in the grass at the park, no problem. They're babies, sometimes they just pee, you know? But here in America, that's not ok. We have a fear of bodily fluids, so a kid having an accident is a much bigger deal.

Crystal from The Verve Path wrote Bringing back diapers about the problems she was having with her son holding it  and the resulting scary hospital visit.
Can you believe this?  A 3.5 year old so persistent and stubborn that he would withhold urinating for 34 hours!?!?!?!  I told you he is MORE!  During all of this I was a mess of guilt and frustration.  I was crying to my mother that I felt so bad but was doing all I could do.  There are just no books for a kid like him.  The only books that talk about strong-willed kids talk about discipline or just living with them and understanding them.  No one talks about the other things, like the weaning off things, toilet learning, sleeping alone, etc.

The experiences we have with toilet learning, from the approaches used to our children's progress, is as varied as it is with sleep. For me it comes back to the same types of things as with sleep: create the right environment, support, be respectful of what they are going through with their bodies, recognize that not every child is the same, and be patient.

Posts I commented on today

  1. A Beatnik's Beat on Life: Facebook Conversations Volume 1: Breastfeeding

  2. Multi-Minding Mom: Cruelty to Preschoolers: The Vegetarian Debate

  3. Geek Anachronism: On the new National Breastfeeding Strategy

  4. The Marketing Mama Blog: Bottle picture on nursing sign (follow-up)

  5. The Hippie Housewife: I'm raising a teenager

  6. The Huckablog: Worry at

  7. Holistic Mama: The Great Mind Decluttering Experiment...Phase 2 (okay, cheating a bit...I commented on this one last week)

  8. Imagination in Parenting: Fresh playdough

  9. It's all about the Hat: More advances

  10. Little Children: More on attachment parenting (note: This one is NOT on my blogroll or regular reading list in any way, but was passed along to me by a reader who thought I might want to weigh in...and I did)

  11. Mama's Apple Cores: Cracked

  12. Little Stomaks:  Simple Recipes - Avocado and Pears Salad

  13. Look left of the pleiades: I'm not vegan but

  14. Lotus Blossom: Why We're Still Sleeping Together

  15. Mama Hearts Baby: A Visit from the Moon

  16. The Verve Path: Bringing back diapers

How about you? Did you read any interesting posts today?
« IComLeavWe: Day 4 | Main | IComLeavWe: Day 2 »

Reader Comments (14)

Thanks so much for stopping by! It really meant a lot to me that you did. I was so upset last night when I was confronted with that conversation. I had more comments filter in adding to the conversation (I don't know if I'd say "adding" really, but there were more comments made.) If nothing else, I found out the people who are only going to drag me down, and by severing ties there I am making progress. So that's a plus I guess.
Anyway - thanks again. I really appreciate that you took the time to read what I had to say. :)

November 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin W.

Thanks for featuring my post. It is hard. I am so disappointed in myself for not listening better to M and his body. Yet, I am happy that the story is getting the attention it is because it is important. I feel so alone with a child who has this type of personality sometimes. One thing I learned through this is that I am not alone. So, when I second guess myself and question my choices, I need to remember that just because I don't see other mothers facing the same issues, doesn't mean they aren't there. Hopefully mothers will continue to see my story and feel that same strength that comes from that knowledge.

November 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal Gold

[...] EDIT: This post has been featured by Annie from PhDinParenting and Jennifer from Blogging ’bout Boys [...]

November 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBringing back diapers «

Here are a couple good ones I've read on a new instance of a mother being told to cover up while breastfeeding on a plane. Will airlines never learn?


Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has the great idea to persuade the airline industry to adopt airline-wide breastfeeding-friendly policies and display the International Breastfeeding Symbol. That way, if customers complain, the flight attendants can just point to that politely and say it's airline policy to leave breastfeeding mothers and babies in peace. (Why this isn't common sense and legally protected everywhere, even on planes, I don't know!)

As a bonus for you, Mommy News & Views links to a helpful article you wrote on plane travel while breastfeeding.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren @ Hobo Mama

I'm loving that you share where you've been commenting. After I make my rounds then I stop here and see which ones your listed I want to comment on. So easy! LOL

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

You have been busy! Thanks for commenting on my site - not once but twice yesterday! :)

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissy @ The Marketing Mama

Amazing work! Thank you to introducing me to such great blogs out there. I have been able to expand my Blogroll, something I had neglected to do so far because of the demands of writing for my own blog. This is great way of sharing the best of parenting resources!

Keep up the good work

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwinToddlersDad

I am in awe of your commenting prowess :) I'm struggling to make the 5 a day and half the time I foget exactly how many I did manage to comment on!

I think I might take a looksie on your list for some new blogs to check out

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

I'm not a parent. That really seems to be the focus of almost every blog doing IComWeLeave. It's getting hard to keep reading them all.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

@Laura: You don't have to do them all or to do the IComWeLeave blogs. I think the idea is just to get out there and comment. Why not search for keywords that interest you on wordpress.com or on Google blog search. There are lots of ways to find blogs that have common interests with you.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterphdinparenting

I just wrote a post on my own breastfeeding experience which I think is different from most peoples, but since you were reading lots of breastfeeding posts this week I thought I'd let you know about it! :)

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Thank you for that link to The Verve Path. That is exactly what happened with us and Gracie except that it was 8 days without poop. Grace is also back in diapers (because, really? We can't continue with the "I'm just not going to poop EVER!" plan), even though she'd rather be in underwear. It's so frustrating.

And now I'm off to read The Verve Path. :)

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTara @ Feels Like Home

Thanks for drawing attention to this. My son is 2 1/2 and will sometimes go potty on the potty chair or toilet, but not always. Mostly, he likes to sit on it and read or be read to. LOL

Happy ICLW!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrystal

[...] EDIT: This post has been featured by Annie from PhDinParenting and Jennifer from Blogging ’bout Boys [...]

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